Watch What You Say to the Cranky Fat Girl

After a very successful week last week, this week was a little flat.  I felt like I was rushed and spread too thin, and tired.  It didn't help that my March 1st weigh-in had a number still dangling before me, 189, only 4 pounds lost in an entire month of trying.  I meant to take my measurements, sure that they would reassure me that this isn't as hard as I am making it out to be.  Getting up before 5am, trying to move a seemingly-perpetually tired and sore body, constantly thinking about what and how and when and WHY I'm eating...I know, woe is me!  It used to be easier to lose weight.  It used to hurt a lot less to walk and dance.  And do squats.  And I feel like the minute I don't do these things, I immediately gain weight and get old, stiff and unhealthy.  

I didn't get to measurements last weekend, I had one son with stomach flu, which left me more sleep-deprived than I've been in years, and another with ADHD who broke his iPod Touch, his most prized possession.  So between being elbow deep in disgusting clean up duty, I also had to search through a see of papers to try and find receipts for warranty repairs.  Oh, not to mention, write a paper and take an exam.  This week has been the opposite of the others, partly due to my feeling that I needed to catch up on sleep, partly because my hormones are getting ready for their next performance, and part because one of my sons accidentally fell into the knee I had surgery on not quite a year ago, and it has been swollen and irritated which means I am favoring that leg, putting more stress in that stupidly sore hip!  It truly sucks getting old!  

I think I might have been fine with my food choices, but on Monday, one of my labs sent me a box of Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies.  I ate the entire box within two days.  And I ate some chocolate chips one night.  Not evil, not diet-ending, but not productive.  I caved way too easily to those damn cookies, even though I'm not really a cookie person.  

So last night, before bed, I was on Facebook, and every other post is one of these "recommended" posts which are really ads.  Honestly, just how photoshopped can Oprah get before the sheep realize it's not real?!  I haven't put much stock in these ads for garcinia cambogia because I figured, if they have to photoshop the bejesus out of their supposed success stories, how effective can it really be?  Plus, trying to find anyone seriously writing about the pros and cons without trying to sell you some is tough.  But this morning, I had my aha moment ( not the biggest Oprah fan, yet she appears again).  I looked at the always brutally-honest reviews on Amazon.  Truly, all of the products I had time to glance at all had 4 or 5 stars and a bunch of positive reviews.  After a little research, I am thinking I have nothing to lose (sorry, intended).  It is made from the rind of a fruit, so it's natural.  It interferes with the process that turns excess carbs into fat, helps curb cravings, and, because it has an effect on seratonin levels, ( which are "feel good" hormones) it makes you feel happier and sleep better.  All good things.  I will probably either order some from Amazon or see if I can find some locally to try.  It is supposed to help you loose 2-4 pounds a month without changing anything, but it's effects increase 200% or more if you add diet and exercise.  From the reviews, it sounded like something that makes it easier to stay on your diet and feel good doing it.  So I have to try it.  The older I get, the harder this is getting to make a difference, I feel like I'm fighting against hormones way too much.  I hate being so irritable, too.  If this is perimenopause, I shutter to think what the real deal will be like!  

I will take more measurements before I start on it and keep you posted.  I am a little excited about this again.  Maybe a little help is just enough of a push to get this old body up the hill.

So happy tomorrow's Friday!  Hope your week went smoothly!