Starting Place

I'm not entirely sure how they made it happen but I ended up getting 3 days off this week despite us being really short staffed. I really needed it. I have been so stressed out about my job that I actually found myself fantasy-searching a job-search site this week and dreaming about going elsewhere. The reasons I am not going to go that route (unless I have to) are 1. I have seen very few jobs that pay what I make without having a special degree or years of experience, so taking a pay cut while paying off school loans and hoping to get a house in the near future is not a great idea. 2. With the medical coding certification I am studying for, even if you pass and get certified, if you don't have any experience in the field it is designated in your certification as an 'A'added. Once you have been in the field for 2 years the A falls away, or you can pay a bunch more money and take a course that I am told is even more grueling than the certification course to have the A removed. It is very difficult to get a job in this field with the 'A' attached to your certification; my current company will take me even with the A and no direct experience, that's probably because I have been there for 10 years and know the software system. If I left my company now I may not be considered for a position with the 'A' on my certification which would mean a lot more money and effort poured into this potential new career. I can barely muster the effort to study for this certification exam so having to study really difficult stuff for even longer makes me feel like I would be heading the wrong direction. I just have to find a way to make it through this in my current department or I will be messing up a lot of things for my future. Physical therapy is having pretty inconsistent results for me. Sometimes it makes it feel better and sometimes it makes it feel way worse. Moreover, some of the exercises to stretch the achilles and strengthen the calf muscles are irritating my opposite knee. I am starting to wonder if the achilles has a tear the way it burns. It can change from hour to hour and when its at its worst it nearly immobilizes me. I know it started thickening with scar tissue and now we have to break that tissue down but it feels like the exercises make it flare and inflame and wow I just can't wait for this issue to resolve! My husband took some time off with me this week and we did an awful lot of cool day trips around our state. That always includes eating out. I indulged in food and even had a few alcoholic beverages in celebration of our little 'stay-cation'. We have been talking about cleaning up our act with food (more me) and alcohol (more him) and neither of us feel very motivated but I may have to take the lead on this. My mind is certainly not in the right place for it but I did get a little inspiration from a friend of mine who is making positive changes and he said he is challenging himself to have 'no negativity November' and I think that may be a great way to ease my mind into a better place so that the idea of eating healthier is a healing thought instead of an uphill battle against a mind that constantly focuses on the negative in life. It feels like a great place to start.