Worth it

As of today, I have done 96 workouts in a row on my Peleton app, but yesterday was a valuable lesson for me. During the week, I go down in the basement to work out first thing in the morning so I make sure it gets done. Then I walk my dog before work. My dog is getting older so he sometimes decides to sleep on the couch and when he does that I get to sleep in for once. Sleeping in, for me is 6AM. My dog is used to going for his walk at 5AM so if I sleep until 6AM on the weekend, I feel guilty making him wait longer for me to work out, so I take him for a walk first. The intention is to then come home and work out, but it rarely happens that way. So weekends lately have been a short meditation at bedtime. I totally forgot to do it yesterday, which means my streak was actually broken, but Peleton is still counting my progress by "active weeks" instead of days in a row. I'm still only 4 workouts away from a "gold medal" on the challenge, but I admit I felt a little disappointed that I let that one slip so close to the finish line. Before starting this challenge, I think I thought I would come out the other side so much stronger and with some weight loss. While I can tell I have added back some lost muscle, I have also been slowly regaining weight and can feel my stomach getting bigger. It's harder to cross my legs when I sit, it's harder to bend over and do yoga. I get more winded going up stairs than I used to. I'm not sure why everything shifted. Last week, something I ate made my stomach feel terrible for the better part of the week. I think I narrowed it down to some almonds, because after I was feeling better I ate some more and it made my stomach feel awful, bloated and nauseated. I'm thinking I might have a slight intolerance to them. I really don't love the taste of them so no big loss. Anyway, because I can't bring myself to eat the food I prepped after I feel bad (luckily my family took care of that) I went to my go-to safe food, ham and cheese sandwiches on keto bread. Only the store didn't have keto bread and the next closest grocery store is 20 miles away. So, I compromised and bought a "light" version of bread with less calories. Honestly, there is only a difference of 6 grams of carbs between 2 slices of the two types of bread. Still, that meant I ate more carbs during the week than I normally would. When my husband wanted to go out to eat on Thursday night, I didn't bat an eye. And then we ate out Friday night and Saturday lunch. I decided I would just eat whatever for those meals out because I plan to keep the rest of April clean in preparation for my physical May 1st. I have been reflecting on this regain lately and some advice I saw Fatgirlfedup give someone else who was in that place of regain. She said when she regained, she didn't worry because she already knew how to lose the weight, she just had to apply the same strategy. That's the beauty of having these learning experiences I suppose, you build on your knowledge of what does and doesn't work so next time you are in a bind, you'll know what to expect and what to do. Its a lot of lack of focus for me. My art takes up so much time and focus, often to the detriment of focusing on my health. But, I did not come this far to only come this far. I have been watching more of my favorite keto/nutrition YouTube channels and putting more effort into making sure I am getting enough calories. And this week my two meals are things I really enjoy eating so there's no issue eating what I prepared. Last week when I was eating almonds, I noticed myself wanting to eat a lot of them even though they weren't that tastey, and I realized that I wished they were saltier and then the light bulb went off that I wasn't craving nuts, I was craving the salt. People who eat low carb need more salt. So I tried some sunflower seeds in the shell, and I just suck on then then crack them and eat them. Being small and salty, I get satisfied pretty quickly, and they have a pretty good keto profile. So that's a win! There is a part of me, when refocusing on my health, that wants to overdo it with rules and challenges (like no sweeteners or no dairy) but I know when my resolve is waivering isn't a great time to be Uber restrictive. So the scale said 174.0 today. Not where I want it to be, but what can I do but accept it and take on the challenge of tackling the pounds again. I will be taking measurements again and maybe pictures, and hopefully in time I can report getting that weight back off. For a long time I was holding in the low to mid 150's and was happy there, even though I wanted to be in the 140's. I try not to get too hung up on the numbers on the scale, so that's why things like measurements, fat percentage and pictures will help me to see what's going on with my body. I want to move with more ease again. That feels better than the bloat I get from eating French fries. The challenge is to remember that when I sit down in a restaurant. I'm sure there will be lots more restaurants in my near future with summer just around the corner. I have to remember that I am worth the extra effort.