Flowing

As of today, my family and I are still house hunting. We were really close to getting our perfect little dream house yesterday, but the sellers wanted us to waive the inspection and financing contingencies, basically meaning we are obligated to take it no matter if we can get a loan or no matter if it has major flaws, so we backed out. It was an interesting lesson. We also found out that one mortgage company we are working with only gives you a loan for the listing price no matter how much the purchase price ends up being. We have been having to offer $20,000 over asking just to stay in the game, but we don't want to pay that out of pocket for sure! So now we are working with our bank instead, who loans the purchase price. Whew! We have had a huge learning curve in the past couple weeks but I think we are becoming more saavy buyers as time goes on. The house we were looking at would be a 40 minute commute for me, through back country roads and in winter I can see that being very undesirable. Not to mention adding a couple extra hours onto my work day. So maybe the fact that we didn't get that house is a blessing in disguise. I got the results of my coding exam back and I did not pass. I needed a 70% to pass and I got 65%. So I will study a bunch more and take it again in June. Landing a job in coding with my company is the piece that will make everything fall into place for me. I do have a plan B that is also a work-from-home job but I really want to stay with my company and keep my benefits. One of my biggest challenges right now is that I have let the house hunting take over 90% of my focus right now and everything else is falling by the wayside. It's why I didn't study as much as I should have for my exam, it's why I had such quasi-interest in my diet until recently, and why I have procrastinated scheduling things that also need to get done. One mortgage specialist did tell me that the housing market should slow down after September, and if that's how long it takes us to find a house, I need to make sure everything else is getting taken care of. I only get one more attempt at my coding certification test before I have to pay another $400 to take it again. Yikes! My eating was actually squeaky clean last week. I felt like I was turning into a vegetable! I was so hungry so often that I decided to track my calories on Friday. Even with an extra applesauce cup, I had less than 800 calories by the time I left work at 5PM. Granted, I'm sure I would have been at or over 1,000 calories by the time I went to bed, but I realized that I am not taking in nearly enough calories even when I eat everything I have planned for the day, all snacks and meals. It is difficult adding calories that are plants. I am doing a little better this week. I discovered eggless egg product and am eating some rice this week and a nice taco salad. I seem to be more satiated this week but now I am hitting middle of the month cravings. Along with the emotional roller coaster of house hunting, I am having a difficult time staying focused and grounded. And, focus is really what it's about. I'm not sure how or if I will be able to turn it around anytime soon, and I will likely be taking on more responsibility with my church soon as well. Some days I just have to let things flow through me without getting attached, and that's the only way I can manage all the thoughts and feelings. I only checked my blood pressure once last week and that was also the only day I did my physical therapy exercises too, so I need to do better in the mornings. I do really feel great about my sons being almost done with school for the year, that will free up some time in my mornings. Anyway, I am here, doing OK despite all the self-created house drama!