In Limbo

My life is in spin right now. We are waiting for an appraisal on the house we are buying and I'm waiting to hear about a position I applied for with my company that will change the way my commute (or lack of) looks from our new house. It's really an exciting time, but the uncertainties are stressing me out. My husband thinks I stress out and worry too much but I like to have things planned out so they go smoothly, so I play the 'what if game. What if we somehow don't get the house? Well then we already gave notice to vacate on our apartment so we will have to find a new place to live that accepts dogs. Yuck, but not impossible. What if I don't get this job? I passed my medical coding certification exam so I applied with my company to switch departments into a coder position. The coders work from home after they are trained. That's a big deal for me and something I want really bad. It would fit so perfectly with our plans. If not, I will either have to commute during rough roads in winter (1 hour each way in good weather) or find something local to our new place (there is only one optical in the city we are moving to) or seek out another work-from-home position. All options other than me getting the coding position at my company are a compromise but would keep us afloat. When I consider worst case scenario, it helps me to plan a way for things to still work out. I still really hope we get the house and I get the position with my company but the waiting to hear anything is what makes it really stressful being in limbo. Another thing that's happening is my hormones are so out of whack. I was so late last month that it was almost time for another and it feels like I just have PMS around the clock nowadays. One of my biggest issues with PMS is the nearly non-stop food seeking. I eat and eat until I'm uncomfortable and then I wait an hour then eat some more.Im stressing out my system, my stomach frequently feels awful and I'm self-abusing with negative thoughts about my body and lack of control over food. I want to be back in control but I don't know if I have the mental energy to devote to it right now. A lady who oversees the receptionists in my current department sent me a friend request on Facebook over the weekend. I have worked in the department for 10 years and found it odd that she would suddenly request me. Then I looked at her profile and noticed she's on a weightloss journey. I literally rolled my eyes knowing she wants to pitch her plan to me because I am obese. I started thinking about my response if she goes in that direction. I'm not ready, I'm not in a good headspace right now. Why does it make me feel like I have a black cloud over my head? I know I need a change but I want it on my terms. Which makes me realize that I need to make my own plan and commit to it. I am great at planning everything else in my life, and usually have good follow-through but this is the area where I struggle, so it's going to take detective work and a lot of redirecting my worry-stress-planning brain to focus on what I can control and change for the better. I will spend some time planning what that will look like on a daily basis and see where it leads.