Last week I ate low carb, very close to the ketogenic phase of South Beach Diet except I ate some fruits and vegetables that normally wouldn't be allowed. I had a ton more energy, I was in a better mood, and felt like my seemingly perpetual bloat flattened out. It was easier to get a bunch of water in, and I definitely didn't have a problem eating every few hours. I did find that tastes and textures got old quickly and the egg concoctions I had for breakfast and lunch made my stomach hurt. Since I don't typically eat meat and eggs and beans upset my stomach, I feel a little lost in diet decisions. This has been a problem for me for quite some time. By Friday of last week, I was so tired of never feeling full that I ordered a chicken breast sandwich when my family had dinner from a nice restaurant. I had a salad instead of fries, and felt full and satisfied. Saturday was a mish-mash of eating, another restaurant with family, this time Italian, and I had pasta in olive oil with herbs. Even though I was eating carbs, I found it easier to stop when I was satisfied instead waiting until I was full. That meant I got two meals out of it and still have leftovers that I won't finish. Throughout the day, I had healthy meals and little tastes of not healthy stuff and I noticed myself getting sucked into diet mentality, thinking oh no I messed up and ate bad stuff, now I might as well eat everything in sight and start over tomorrow. But luckily I knew what was going on and stopped those thoughts before I let them hold me hostage. I reminded myself that I can eat whatever I want, there's no food police, but I also thought about how I feel when I eat mostly salty, fatty ("bad" fats), sugary stuff and how I feel when I eat something like cucumbers with guacamole. I've decided that this is the path to my success, knowing that I'm allowed, nothing is off limits, but becoming more aware of how certain things feel and make me feel. Sugary stuff leaves a thick syrupy film in my mouth that I really don't like. Carbs make me feel bloated and less happy. Yes, it's something I didn't realize until recently, and I believe it is purely biological not psychological.
The other thing I have started, which is the part where I'm copying the above blog, is I started a mission at My Virtual Mission. This is the coolest app/site. We've all heard about these people who have walked, ran or biked across the U.S. Right? Well this app allows you to do these missions virtually, from your own home or gym. It took me a while to figure out what would drive me enough to get out and put the miles in, but I've decided I will walk (maybe cycle later) from Green Bay,WI to Sacramento, CA. I chose Sacramento because after more than 2 years of planning and research my family was intending to move there. I fell in love with the city, and really invested a lot into our move, emotionally and time wise. I dreamt of the days we would spend exploring all the amazing places in California from the coast to the mountains. It was one of my biggest dreams. Then 2 months before we were set to move, my husband changed his mind, and I felt like my dream came crashing down around me. My heart was broken and I felt a flood of emotions that I felt would burden others if I expressed them. So I started trying to self-soothe more than ever, bringing candy and chips with me to work every day, then stocking up the pantry with even more junk. There are still some unresolved feelings and a huge feeling of something drawing me to California like I belong there. So my joinery to Sacramento is a place where I hope to heal not just my body but also my mind; to figure some things out about the dream and my loathing of snow, and how to handle my sadness about staying here and my anxiety over driving in snow. It's a lot to ask but I think the psychological work I've been doing will help, and I'm not above getting counseling if it comes down to that.
So my virtual mission is called Westward Bound and I enter my miles that I've walked into the app and it shows me where I'd be on the map and even gives a street view. I went on a long walk yesterday afternoon, after having already had my Pebble pedometer on all day, so it showed that o walked 5 miles so I entered that amount, knowing that it was less but not sure how to track it yet. Today I put my Pebble on just before going out to walk, and it was a shorter walk for 2.3 miles. So I am still in the Green Bay Area but I am officially on my way! Here's a street view of where I ended today.