Still Swimming

I think of writing often, even when I go entire months without committing to it. I do find it easier when I'm bragging about how good I'm doing or how easy it is; when the goal is weightloss and the scale is the reward or punishment. There are so many things going on for us right now. I am sitting for my medical coding certification exam on Saturday and I have to admit I haven't been studying as much as I should. I know it's a grueling test and doesn't have a high pass rate, but I got to a point where the stress was squashing me so I decided to let it go. I have a good job now and am about to get another raise. if I don't pass the exam this time I will take it again. My older son is getting set to graduate in June and it took him a while to decide if he wanted to go to tech school for the electrician program or go straight to work. Then one of my customers owns an electric company and said they are desperate for workers and he can start working right from high school and the company pays for them to take classes so they can get licensed. After 5 years of apprenticeship they make $34/hour. My son is going to have a great start and be much more financially secure than most his age. At least that's one thing solved. In March my husband and I met with a mortgage lender and we got pre-approved for a home loan so we have officially started house hunting! It will be our first house and we are super excited. We are fully aware how awful the market is right now, we put an offer on our first house last weekend, we set our top bid at $19,000 over asking and got easily outbid. Just the process of deciding whether or not to make an offer was stressful, and before we knew if we got it or not, a million doubts crept into my head about the snowy commute (40+ minutes on clear roads, nevermind Wisconsin snows), the small basement and the second floor of the barn-turned-garage. The fact that we are looking in a city that is not close to our jobs is fine for every season except winter. The exam I'm taking on Saturday will eventually lead to a work-at-home position for me (my dream) and that will eventually not be an issue but the anxiety I have driving in snow has me doubting the order we are doing things in. still, we have been wanting to get a house for a while now, but wanted our sons to graduate from the amazing district they are in. My younger son wants to finish his last 2 years online so we are not tethered to this area come June. So a huge part of me wasn't super bothered that we didn't get that house. With luck I will pass this exam and slip into a coding job yet thus summer so when we do get a house and move my mind will be eased about that. I graduated from physical therapy a few weeks ago and am happy to be done with all those appointments. I still have somw discomfort but my podiatrist said it takes a solid year for things to get more normal. I did start to slack off in my exercises but yesterday I noticed how bad my achilles was feeling because I hadn't stretched it in more than a week. so today I got back on track with it and it still hurts but at least I know I'm getting stronger little by little. I am going to an orthopedic doctor on Thursday to see what my options are for my re-torn meniscus in my knee. I still have enough good days that I don't think I would opt for surgery yet, but I also don't want to do more damage by waiting longer than I should. I also have dentist appointments interspersed in the next week, a filling and an evaluation of a poorly sealed root canal that will likely need to be fixed. The time obligations never seem to end! Then there's always the other stuff to plan, family trips, dog grooming and yearly vet visit, car repairs, etc. Most of what we are going through are positive changes but change always comes with some element of stress! Despite all of that, I am not stressing out too much about food. I do still eat mostly plants with a little bit of non-plants or junky processed stuff here and there. I haven't weighed myself because that's not the point. The scale doesn't show me if my body is using insulin better or if my cholesterol is good. In a way, it's odd to not feel so dramatic about food. Oh, there are times when I wear something that makes me more aware of the size of my body and my mind wants to wander back into the "I need to lose weight fast" mode and I look into keto for the billionth time and find articles supporting plant-based for long term health over keto which can cause trouble for your thyroid. I already have an underactive thyroid, I don't need to do more damage. So I'm riding this wave for now and in a month or two I may weigh to see if there has been any reduction in weight. I plan on sticking with my physical therapy exercises and might add some time on the stationary bike now that it's a little warmer. All good things, all a lot to try and manage in my mind. like always, I'll do my best and go from there.