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Every evening, when I out my paint away, there are a dozen or more things I should/could do and rarely do I do any of them, including blogging here. It's not intentional. And while my weekends have continued to be peppered with non-keto meals, I still consider myself "on track" because eating keto all week (and some of the weekend meals too) means I don't really have cravings and my weight is holding steady in the low to mid 150's, despite starting medicine that can cause weight gain. To be honest, lately I haven't really been focusing on my weightloss journey, it has become somewhat automatic. I have the handful of favorite proteins and I pair them with my fats of choice and lately I only have to plan/meal prep two meals so it doesn't require a lot of thought. So far, I am not doing great with 2 meals a day fasting. I simply can't plan and eat enough to feel full enough to not need to eat after lunch. Last week I snacked on cheese at what would have been my dinner time (5PM'ish) and that got me through the night but that meant I was really only fasting 13 hours. I also got in a bad habit of snacking on peanuts around 10 AM. This habit cropped up from allowing it during my progesterone period and that overflowed in to last week. It's not the worst thing in life, it's a keto snack, I just would like to get to the place where I don't snack between meals. Today is the first day in a couple of weeks that the peanuts didn't beckon to me. Oh, I was aware of them, and even glanced their way at 10 AM, but I reminded myself that lunch was not far off and eating for the sake of a good tadte/texture when I'm not genuinely hungry is what got me obese in the first place. So today I decided to break the habit and waited for lunch to eat. I also haven't eaten since lunch, so I will legitimately have only 2 meals today. I'm interested to see how it goes. Over the weekend, I had a big thrill! As some of you know, I am taking part of a street art program in a local tourist town. I got a big fish template to paint and it will be displayed all summer then auctioned off and I get to keep half of what it auctions for. The organizers are going to let us know where in the city but Saturday, as we driving through on our way to the grocery store, I saw my art on display! What a great surprise! It felt so surreal to see it on public display.

I originally wasn't going to have my husband take a picture of me by my work because I hadn't planned for it and assumed my hair was not great (darn wind) but I was so excited that I just took a bite of the moment because it's about so much more than a bad hair day. I feel like it validates me as an artist because I still have imposter syndrome. My husband was giddy with me. After looking at the photo, yes my hair is crazy windblown mess but I haven't seen myself in a photo in a while and I was caught off guard that I don't look as big as I feel in my mind. I haven't taken measurements or photos in a while, perhaps I should. I am going to be participating in more of these art events because its a great way to get exposure and it makes me feel part of something exciting. Art distracts me from thinking about my weight all the time, which can be good but that also means I am not striving to grow and progress where my weight is concerned when I just do it on autopilot. But I do feel like I am starting to focus on it this week with my goals of eliminating the snacks and seeing how I do with 2 meals a day, which means I will be fasting 18 hours. I just have to remind myself that I have fasted 48 hours before, 18 is not that bad. I have cut out cream in my coffee and I just don't like coffee without cream so I have started drinking iced tea instead, which I think could be a positive swap. Maybe I can switch to green tea at some point, but one step at a time. Anyway, life is good. Everything is blossoming, figuratively and lierally and I'm here for it.