Monday, October 22, 2012

Stress Prevails

My overnight visit to my hometown went smoothly, and provided the relaxing escape I needed. We had sushi, Thai, and steakhouse food. Interestingly enough, the meal that was the least diet-conscious was the continental breakfast at the hotel, which was one serious carb-fest. Not that I was intentionally trying to keep it clean, but I've been eating so much junk the past couple months that I don't even enjoy it anymore. But my visit wasn't about food, it was about fun, and releasing some compounded stress, and that it did. I even had a few hours visit with my dad before heading back home.
Even though I had a pleasant time, I found myself feeling guilty as I drove home. I always feel so conflicted, like there are so many demands on my time. I felt guilty for not staying longer to see my sister, and I felt guilty for being away from my own husband and kids, as I told them I wouldn't be fine all day Saturday, but ended up not getting home until evening, and they were already at the zoo without me and we had only enough time to have a late dinner before getting to bed. Sigh. These things can't be helped. I haven't seen my dad in more than a year, so when he made the impromptu call Thursday night I couldn't say no.
Yesterday was nice and relaxing, the weather was nice and we spent some time at the skate park, as my kids are practicing their skateboarding skills. I completed my tasks with ease and had some time to watch an autism benefit that was really enjoyable.
This morning I got back on track with the gym, getting in a great back/bicep workout. It felt good to be back in the gym, and thinking about my goals.
Then at work, my stress returned as a message from my over-dramatic boss indicated that the doctors staff was complaining about the optical about really petty things. When did I go back to high school? Out of stress and anger over the stupidness of all of this, I thought about giving up in college altogether. If people are complaining that I am doing things not related to work, that means I can't do homework at work, and I really don't have too much other time. But, if I quit college, I'll be stuck working this same kind of job forever. BAH! My stress seriously needs to take a vacation!!!
For today, I'm controlling the things I can control. I worked out. I'm eating things that make my body feel better. I will handle the rest as it comes. I guess that's all I can really do.
Hope you are all well. Happy Monday!

6 comments:

  1. Stuff like this is sent to try us. You'll make it work. I'm still getting over this chest infection and have only just started going back to the gym.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're right about being tried, but I am spent from the seemingly unrelenting trials.
    I'm sorry to hear you are still under the weather. I hope the worst Is behind you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm glad you enjoyed the visit. You're kind to say it went well. (@ least my "issues," may make you feel better about yours.) You're TOO hard on yourself! You DO ALL you can, for others...*I WISH, I could give you the answer; but, you must weigh your options. We always STUGGLE to want more...but, (my curse, is to be a 'realist,' no matter how hard I may want it the other way. ;) Don't wish to be a dream-squasher; but, you are only 1 person. You said it before, "pick your battles..." With THIS much on your plate; you feel guilty (over things you really shouldn't have to...) &, (so far) not really winning the war. All I can really say is, is it/will it really be worth it...?!?! *That's the REAL ??? &...trust me, I'm dealing w/ (my own) many battles...TOO!?!? :/

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm just always HAPPY, to be with you... ;D

    ReplyDelete
  5. In my opinion, chasing a dream and have hope and belief is essential to a happy life. I could take the easy route and just give up when things get tough, but that would make more miserable than overcoming the struggle. I won't feel like a very good role model for my kids, who have greater mountains to climb than I ever will, if I give up when things get tough.
    And, I enjoy our time too. Wausau seemed exceptionally livable and charming and for a moment I thought about how living there again might feel. Then I thought about the snow, and I was over it! Lol.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I never expect, that you will "give up"...&, wasn't suggesting that either. Just pointing out, the different ways we look @ things. :) I also, don't feel like a bad role model...for knowing/applying limits. *I am a "believer" AS WELL, just differently...

    ReplyDelete