Watching the Wheels

In starting this blogpost, I feel a parallel to how I begin most of my correspondence to family and friends: "Sorry it's been so long, things have been absolutely crazy around here!" But whose life is drama- free?
It could be the extra cup(s) of coffee I had this morning, or the winding down of the hormonal disaster, or maybe the fact that some of my stressful triggers have an end-point in sight, I am in a great mood and mindset right now.
Oh, I have stress, don't get me wrong, but right now I feel like I can focus on my future and things look positive there. It would have been another story if I'd been posting this last Tuesday. On that day, my kids were already on their third combined trip to the principal's office for inappropriate behavior, my older son seemingly shifting into cocky teenager mode a few years too early, and I was missing class to sit in an auto repair shop and wait for the bad news to be dropped on me. And boy did it drop! No sooner did I spend a small fortune on new tires last weekend, to find a few days later, that I have to have my wheel bearing replaced, which will cost as much as $1,000! And, of course, it is quite unsafe to be driving around with this issue, so it's something that requires immediate attention. This vehicle is turning into a money pit! Anyway, my stress had been building, and as I drove to work yesterday, I noticed that my steering felt sloppy, looser. So I decided not to go to statistics lab and lecture. At first, it bothered me to skip, I've missed a few lectures already but I've never missed a lab. But I sent my homework via email and my professor is allowing me to do the lab work at home. For once, I had the chance to use my lunch beak for what it was designed, to get out of my office. I got some exam prep done and am feeling good about my stats test tomorrow. Tonight I will have my vehicle looked at for a second opinion, and chose a mechanic to do the work. I'll feel much better when my car is fixed. I already have enough anxiety around driving, knowing that my wheel could seize or fall off, or make my brakes fail is completely nerve-racking!
But today, I feel good. Friday is almost here, I have new tires, there's no snow on the ground yet, my kids didn't have to go to the principal's office all day yesterday, I don't have class to worry about today, I am all set up and registered for my online classes next semester, and I just feel good.

My switch to a meatless diet the past two weeks has been all positive. I actually like what I'm eating and find that I'm eating on time and not really even thinking about other foods. That is more a product of breaking the sugar addiction, not necessarily from going meatless. I am not vegetarian, but I'm not a meat- lover by any means. This week I made my egg wrap with a little coconut oil instead of the light mayonnaise I would normally use. It's much healthier and tastes awesome. And this morning I got creative with breakfast, because I'm getting sick of oatmeal with protein powder, so I threw together a multiple grain tortilla topped with apples, natural peanut butter, cinnamon and Splenda. That was surely a treat, and the change was welcome. I have been getting in the mindset of getting back to the gym, and I think I will certainly do that as soon as my car gets fixed. I'm hoping it can be fixed this weekend, but that might be wishful thinking.

The health clinic I work for rewards it's employees for doing healthy things like exercising and getting medical check ups, etc. For each healthy thing you do, you earn points, and once you earn a certain amount of points, you get cash. Pretty nice incentive to do healthy things, right? The current event we can participate in is a contest they call "Maintain, don't Gain". I tried to do this last year and failed miserably. The rules are that you weigh in before the holidays, participate in a weekly goal like limiting tv time or a set amount of cardio, etc, and if you gain no more than 2 pounds between now and the first week in January, you earn a considerable amount of points toward that monitory reward. I was getting emails about the program and immediately deleted them, racked with stress and feeling out of control, but I am feeling so good today that I decided to weigh in and give it a go. 170.4 is what the official health clinic scale read. I was prepared for that. I know where I'm at and I know where I want to be. The goals are easy enough, next week is 150 minutes of cardio during the week. Easy. And, it will be a nice way for me to get back in the habit of working out. My body needs it, and not because of the way it looks, but because of how it feels.

So that's where I'm at, in a nutshell. A couple weeks ago, I came across a poetry journal my older son made at school last year, and I wasn't in a good place then, but now I'm ready to post it. Of course it's the last line that rules! It's interesting to see yourself through the honest and unfiltered eyes of your child.

Have a great end to the week and a fantastic weekend!