Monday, April 18, 2016

Big Fat Yo-Yo

Sometimes I want to blog, but I have so many obligations or distractions that it simply doesn't pan out.  Other times I get the time but my thoughts are so congested that it is pointless.  
I'm kind of in a funk right now.  Mondays have that affect on me anyway, but the weather is beautiful and I have a little free time and still I feel...uninspired, a little blue, and tired even though I shouldn't be.  I know a huge part of it is how overweight I am.  Activity is exhausting and my body aches in places that haven't bothered me in years, like my Achilles' tendon.  Mentally, I've just gone through a very intense period of emotions with setting up our move to Sacramento, having that dream crushed after a couple years of planning/dreaming of it, planning another move within my city, the actual labor of moving and cleaning and losing sleep and still being half in-boxes, and a vacation.... It's been a roller coaster and I have been comfort-eating my way through each step of it and now my body feels like crap and I am berating myself in my head every chance I stop and think about my body.  Of course when I get to this point I start thinking about restricting, going back on South Beach diet, but if that worked long-term I wouldn't have to keep restarting every time I go off the rails.  And I am 100% off the rails right now. I know I have to fix this from my brain, and I bought a new book to help, but I don't know if I'll have time to invest in it until I graduate next month.  I will read it, and re-read some others I have on mindful eating.  I don't know how many more times my body can yo-yo before the string breaks.  

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