Surgery Recovery

I have lived to tell about my achilles reattachment surgery. I earnestly tried to get every possible thing done that I could to prepare before becoming less mobile, but still felt rushed/unready when it came time to get to the hospital. I ended up having my first of several panic attacks as we parked the car. I suddenly felt ill, weak, sweaty and dizzy as we walked to the entrance. I wasn't afraid of dying on the table, though something about the idea of being intubated while laying face down was freaking me out. More than that, I was worried about how I was going to do all the normal everyday things I need to do like going to the bathroom with one leg, taking a shower/bath, cooking things, doing dishes...you name it. And I was wracked with guilt about all the things I would have to have others do because on the daily, I do so so much for everyone that I had a feeling they never realized. The surgery itself went fine. The doctor told my husband, "The easy part is done!" I typically don't have nausea after surgery but definitely struggled with it this time. Still, I was home and resting by 1PM. I had a major life lesson that week! When the anesthesia wore off on Tuesday I began taking the prescribed pain medication pretty much around the clock for 2 days. By Wednesday evening I noted that I hadn't had the urge to "go" and the discharge paperwork said if you don't go within 4 days you should come have an enema. They recommended taking a stool softener along with the pain pills. I am not someone who has the misfortune of needing that stuff so I had no idea that a stool softener and a laxative are not the same and I took a laxative before bed. I woke at 2:30 AM so very sick. I kept feeling like I was going to pass out and there were dry heaves and lots of blood. I had to have my husband take me to the ER because the amount of blood scared me. They ran blood tests and gave me fluids and something to help with the cramping. I don't know if I have had that much stomach distress (for days on end) in my life! Finally on Tuesday of this week, after wondering if I damaged something because of how bad it still hurt, and going entire days eating only an apple and a couple saltiness, I consulted Dr. Google with my symptoms and a bunch of results showed gastritis and said controlling the stomach acid was key to healing. I took and acid blocking medicine (Pepcid) and it was like the sun came out from behind the clouds after a week-long rain shower! So I am going to keep myself on it for a good week or two before trying to ween myself off. I am so happy to have my appetite back! Now I can turn my complaints toward my chunky, scratchy cast, the knee scooter that turns like a box and not being able to drive. Actually, I am doing OK mentally, for the most part. My husband has been handling things fairly well (his responsibilities have increased significantly as mine decrease) but I can tell it bothers him at times. It is bittersweet, finally he gets to see all I do around here, but it does make me feel guilty. I suppose that was a part of the panic I was feeling. I have work to do around those feelings. I did not choose to be less mobile and at least it's only temporary. It does make me wonder how things would be if something lands me in a less mobile position more permanently down the road. working in a health clinic I see this a lot; one spouse is wheelchair-bound and the other is resentful for having to push them all over all the time. I don't like feeling helpless and I don't want to be a burden, but for as much as I have given of myself so that others don't have to be inconvenienced, I deserve to give some of that burden away sometimes. Anyway, I am alive, I haven't needed pain pills more than those first couple days after surgery, and when I went to have my cast put on last week, they said I was doing an excellent job of elevation because there was almost no swelling. I will learn to adapt. 2 months will go by so fast and before I know it I will be back at work feeling like the one-woman complaint department. That helps put things in perspective!