Triggered

Last week was a wild rollercoaster ride of ups and downs. Aunt Flow arrived, and I had two solid days of staying 100% on track and even worked out on one of those days. I decided to try intermittent fasting because I have read that its really good for your cells and organs to have a break. I tried the method where you just don't eat after dinner, so that by the time you have breakfast you have fasted about 12 hours. Monday night I was over-tired from not sleeping the night before so it didn't even phase me. I simply didn't eat before bed and I slept fine and woke feeling fine. Tuesday didn't go so well. I started feeling ravenous around 8:30 P.M. and had to fight my mind to stick with it because I really wanted to eat. I know when I don't eat before bed I don't sleep good; I wanted to at least try this to see if it would help me lose weight. After a pretty much sleepless night of hunger pangs and what I'm guessing was low blood sugar, I got up to use the bathroom at 2 A.M. and got sweaty and started feeling myself blacking out. I managed to get my head on the floor before I lost consciousness and after some time I was able to crawl to the couch and doze off for an hour. When I woke after that hour I finally gave up and ate something. Clearly fasting is not for me. That was really scary to me. I was downstairs with the dog alone because I didn't want my tossing and turning to wake my husband.I can't imagine how bad it would have been if I lose consciousness in that bathroom, I would have surely hit my head on the massive sink we have in there. The incident really triggered my food insecurity issues and I spent the rest of the week over-indulging to comfort myself. My husband had his last day of work at his old company on Thursday. He worked there for 13 years and had really great relationships there, so it was emotional, but besides the terrible commute, we just got word that the company lost a huge national contract and a bunch of jobs would be lost. We found that out 2 days before he was done working there so we definitely dodged a bullet. On Saturday we celebrated the beginning of the next chapter with some wine. Today was the first day in a long time that I got 10,000 steps in. My hips were so sore from it. My husband was tied up for most of the day in a conference but when he got out in the late afternoon he asked me to go for a walk to the beach and it's so nice out (for Wisconsin) that I obliged. I love to hunt for treasures (beach glass and stones) and Lake Michigan is just gorgeous. I know that walking with your head down puts strain on your hips but I can't resist and by the time we got home from our nearly 2 hour walk my hips were screaming for a sit down. My low back was stiff too and that's a new thing for me. I feel so out of shape. My muscles have definitely atrophied and I hate that I feel like I've lost so much. On a positive note, my left foot feels pretty much back to normal so thats one huge obstacle I won't have standing in my way this summer. I think this is going to be a pivotal time right now, with the way my health feels like it's really gone a bad direction. I feel if I don't get a grip on it now it's going to be really hard to reverse.