Gift

When I had COVID my appetite was nearly non-existent and staying on track was really easy but food had either no taste or tasted strange. As I started to get better last week, my smell and taste came back and so did my appetite. We were all off quarantine during the week so the weekend was all about food again. We ate out twice and got random things from the grocery store deli for another meal. It might have been 4 meals out if I hadn't told my husband I am starting to not enjoy eating out as much because we do it too often. I told him it's really hard for me to make good choices at restaurants and there's not a ton of choices even if I wanted to. He was understanding but I think it disappointed him a little. He did admit that it's an expensive form of entertainment. I opted for a grilled ahi tuna steak on Friday, it comes with a dab of salsa on top, grilled asparagus in olive oil, choice of potato,a salad and one dinner roll. I got baby red potatoes, there were two small potatoes boiled with no toppings. I split the dinner roll with my husband to cut down on the carbs. I felt good about that choice. There were still carbs but not deep fried junk food. Saturday afternoon we went out for lunch and I wasn't starving so I had an egg roll appetizer and a cup of beef barley soup. When we got the items from the store I had a single serve veggie pizza. The crust was a croissant topped with cream cheese then broccoli, cauliflower and carrots. It was satisfying. I stayed away from alcohol because I was still feeling weak and drained from COVID. I felt pretty good about the weekend, even though it wasn't as clean as it could be, it also wasn't as bad as it could have been. I have been having more issues with sleep since COVID and since I'm not sleeping as well I am more aware of the nights when am fasting and have been wondering if it's a little much for my body to do all at once. To be clear, I am only doing a 12 hour fast 3 nights a week. I used to religiously eat a snack right before bed to keep my blood sugar balanced so I could sleep well, now on days I fast, I stop eating by 6PM and then don't eat again until 6AM. If I am getting enough fats it doesn't phase me. Tracking macros and calories is needed and I just haven't done it. Actually I started putting my food into my Samsung Health app that's affiliated with my smart watch, but it's pretty archaic, it doesn't even allow me to scan an item. Fit but is a good app but it tracks total carbs not net carbs so that would make my numbers all off. So I need to find a good macros tracking app. I will research and maybe start tracking again next week. I broke down and ate microwave popcorn yesterday and today. It was driven by a crazy craving to eat, chew, crunch. I really don't like that feeling and do attribute it to hormones. Luckily this is only halfway so it should only be a couple days and things will feel normal again. I go some rotisserie chicken and sparkling water at the store for something a little different for my taste buds and watched a documentary called Fed Up. That helped me turn the crazy craving down and refocus on what I'm doing. When I think about this journey of nearly 11 months on keto, part of me is a little disgruntled that I've only lost 12 pounds, but when I think deeper I realize that I could have given up and gone completely off the rails at any point but I haven't done that. I keep showing up and doing things to get my head back in the game. I'm speaking up for myself and slowly learning how to navigate the trickier stuff. I may allow some stuff on the weekends but never let it be a free-for-all where I feel like this attempt is over and I will "start over" on Monday. I think that mentality ruined so many attempts for me because it meant that for whatever stretch of time I was "off" my diet, as in, all bets are off,Monday is a redo. That has really made a difference in my ability to stick to it this time. This has been a learning experience and I feel like, maybe for the first time in my life it feels like a sustainable way of life instead of a diet that i can't wait to get to the end of. So I can't think of the last 11 months as anything less than a gift.