Winning

Part of the challenge of striving for a healthier life is overcoming patterns that I'm not always aware of as I'm living them. After blogging yesterday I reflected on the situation and how I have a tendency to default to not making a decision (IE not acting) when I am confused about nutrition or exercise. It is 100% an excuse to let myself off the hook. The longer I do this, the more I am learning that while having internet gurus is a great tool, ultimately it's up to me to use that tool in a way that works for my life. I am slowly starting to work toward this. Even though I stayed keto through the weekdays, the lack of exercise coupled with some off-kdto eating the past couple weeks was making feel like I didn't care and it's a slippery slope from there. Fortunately, my cycle started yesterday so the next 9 days will be strict keto, as intense of exercise as I want and fasting. After short or no fasting (less than 12 hours is what I consider short/no fast) for a couple weeks, I was surprised how hungry I was this morning. I am only fasting 15 hours for 5 days then I'll do a 24-hour fast on the weekend then 17-hour fasts for a few days before I head into a week of shorter fasts (13-15 hours). This works in harmony with the hormones and changing the length is good for hormetic stress which is actually beneficial to weightloss when the level is correct. Anyway, while my stomach was growling this morning, that slight bit of discomfort took a backseat to what is now becoming a new familiar feeling; empowerment. I can do hard things. Fasting isn't for everyone. I am capable of feeling something uncomfortable and living through it. That's not to say fasting is miserable, I am not white-knuckling my way through it, but I do have to break the habitual alarm that my stomach growling causes me. In the past I have been extremely intolerant to the sensation and it used to be an excuse to cave and panic-eat whatever I could get my mouth around because clearly I was going to die if I didn't overload with calories in that very moment! So fasting for me has the added challenge/benefit of rewiring my knee-jerk reaction to my stomach growling. Just by moving past that moment this morning I felt such a boost in my mood, as if the fog cleared and path became uncovered again. I like how I feel when my head is in the game and the empowerment is exciting. Now I know that, no matter what my cycle is doing, armed with the knowledge I have and shaping it to fit my life, I have to keep my mind on the game. Even during my "hormone feasting" weeks where my carbs are higher and I fast shorter, I have control over not eating junk and keeping up with exercise. I weighed in at 182.8 this afternoon, which is a new low this time around. That makes 24 pounds lost, assuming that number sticks. I am going to set some new goals this year that I previously thought were unobtainable. The first one is to drastically reduce my reliance on sweeteners. I typically use stevia and monkfruit which are natural but after learning that they do affect your gut biome I want to see if I can work to get them down to occasional use at most. Right now I add Now Better Foods liquid Stevia to my water all day long and I drink a ton of water because it tastes AMAZING but for one, if it affects my fasting (which it does raise glucose for some people) I don't want to drink it while I'm fasting and if I'm not drinking while fasting but drinking it during my eating window, I feel like I will see fasting as a punishment because I don't get to taste the sweetness.This will be a tough goal, I really detest drinking my water plain. Tonight I'm having it with a splash of lime juice and it's way better than no flavor. My other goal is to ween myself off the caffeine pill I take every morning. I really don't think it's the biggest health concern at all, but in the past I had successfully switched to just one cup of coffee per day instead of taking a caffeine pill in the morning and then also drinking coffee on top of it. I don't need all that. This morning I drank my cold coffee black because I was fasting and it was still a treat even though I didn't have my usual heavy cream and sweetener. This goal should be doable. I think it will be the easier of the two goals. I still have the fitness goals of doing 10 real push ups in 2023 and also learning all the zumba videos I recently saved on YouTube, there are almost 50 of them. I have put zero effort into those goals so far this year but will be starting soon. In a way, I'm grateful for having this little "time out" from fasting and exercise because it certainly proved to me how much better I feel mentally and physically when I stay focused and put in the work! I believe it is Nelson Mandela who is quoted as saying, "You either win or you learn." Either way you win, right?