Where'd August go?

Every year at this time, I find myself thinking, did August even happen? Did I sleep through it? It must be the month that flies by the fastest! Though for some reason I always equate the darker, cooler mornings with September, and every year I am surprised how suddenly the light changes. I imagined a squeaky clean August and I will say I was pretty on-point for most of the month. My big event in the middle of the month was the only time I recall eating less-than-ideal. Then again, here it is a month later and I'm just now blogging. I did, at one point, see my weight dip down to 161 when I was consistently not eating junk on the weekends. I had other lofty goals like not using sweeteners in my water, coffee or not chewing gum. I didn't do that. I think mentally, I'm not ready to go that extreme. I also was going to get back to working out, I also have not consistently done that. Then there was the goal of spending at least half of my work day standing instead of sitting all day. After the 3rd day of standing 4 hours (in intervals, not all at once) I developed bad hip pain and what feels like my IT band tracking wrong which pulls from my butt down to my shin bone. I am still trying to work through this odd affliction. In late August, one Sunday night, I got a call from my boss, saying that the computer systems were crashed and we wouldn't be able to work the next day. It's not just our group of clinics (more than 100 throughoutWisconsin) but our affiliated hospital systems as well- 14 hospitals in Wisconsin and Illinois. It turned out to be a cyber attack and it took more than 2 weeks to get access to our systems. Just our clinics saw about 35,000 visits during that time and the providers were hand-writing notes and sending them to us to put all the insurance codes on before they can get billed. It has been smoother than expected, but boy! I sure appreciate how smoothly everything works in the computer system! I have been having to drive 2 hours round trip to drop off and pick up paper charts, and my posture is totally different at my desk since I have to lean over and hand write all the information. September has not been sqeaky clean but its still going pretty good. My weight is sticking anywhere between 162-165 depending on salt and hormones I suppose. I need to refocus. I was doing shorter fast while waiting for my cycle to start in August and it just never came. I have gotten too reliant on my cycle as my sign to switch gears and it is getting less predictable. So, I have decided that starting in October, no matter what my hormones are doing, I am going to do 5-1-1 fasting. 5 days of 16 hour fast, 1 day of a longer fast, and one day of less than 16 hours fasting. My focus has been drifting away from fasting lately and it honestly has been something that awakens my spirit of challenge. At the beginning of the year,one of my 2023 goals was to complete a 72 hour fast. It's been a few months since I have even done a 24-hour fast, and I have only ever done a 36 hour fast. When I'm properly fuelled and in the zone of fasting I feel good challenging myself to see how long I can go. It really teaches me that hunger is not a panic. Also, not thinking about food leaves room for focusing better on other things. So it will be good for me to get back into a fasting schedule. I know my issues with my lower body are from weak muscles pulling things out of alignment. I have to strengthen all my weak areas so I don't tear my hip or knee. So, I sound like a broken record but I need to be doing strength training. I'm just so stinking mentally resistant to it. In the midst of all the computer issues, my work decided to start a Peleton contest, to do 300 minutes of Peleton classes in September. I joined late, on Sept 17 so I have been doing some longer interval walks, but that really irritates my hip. So I've done the meditation classed which are a little hokey with some over-dramatic whisper-voice instead of a calm soothing voice. They also offer low-impact cardio so I tried one class and knew it wasn't going to be great when the uber-fit instructor started warm up by hopping side to side. SMH. There are a lot of great classes on Peleton but there are some not great ones too. I shouldn't have trouble completing the 300 minutes by the end of the month, I have 120 minutes left to do. I plan to do some strength sessions before the challenge ends. Food wise, I am working on increasing my protein intake. It's hard because I don't love meat but I'm slowly getting better at using meat instead of dairy as the core of my meals. I have been more aware of my draw to sweet tasting gum and drinks (stevia drops in my coffee amd water or diet sodas on occasion) and it is something I will cut back on when I start fasting again. This week I have been craving chips so bad (my cycle is already supposed to have started but hasn't) I caved yesterday and today and ate some chips. I feel so bloated from it. I am happy that the cravings seem quieted by the bloated feeling. It makes me realize how often I used to walk around feeling kind of lousy but still stuck junkfood in my mouth to get the dopamine. Yuck. I am not wracked with guilt over it, but I also don't feel like doing it again anytime soon.I did pass on birthday cake (my son's) yesterday with ease, real sweets don't typically beckon to me anymore now that I don't eat them. Now if I could train myself to not want those sweeteners in my drinks I'd be downright unstoppable! Baby steps. I guess this is a lot of words to say I'm still here and still doing mostly pretty good with food- probably about 90-95% clean this month. That's progress over the old days when I was only eating clean when my body became so sick of every fried food, sugary junk and multiple Diet Cokes per day. I knew that stuff didn't make me happy but I couldn't feel that it wasn't making me happy until I stopped doing it. I am still hoping I can see 155 pounds (51 pounds lost) on the scale for my 51st birthday at the end of December, but even if I don't get there, I'm still much better off from having started this journey in the first place!