What I learned

As I mentioned in my last post, the last week of October didn't go as smoothly as I had planned. I headed into my week off with only 2 appointments scheduled, dental exam on Monday and Tuesday (Halloween) I scheduled a massage to use up a spa gift certificate I got for my birthday last year. I was looking forward to taking some time to paint. Monday morning I went to my dentist appointment and she didn't have time to clean my teeth after the exam so I had to schedule another appointment. Then I went to a neighboring town about 30 minutes away to pick up an adorable antique table that I'm going to paint. I did stop to shop in an art supply store while there, which always makes me happy. Tuesday was Halloween, my favorite holiday! I had my massage booked well in advance and they changed the time which was fine. This appointment was in the same neighboring town about 30 minutes away, and the main highway is closed for construction, so I have to drive down a very hilly/curvy country road to get around. And it started snowing really hard on my way there. I started to have major anxiety but arrived at what I thought was a for good time for my massage. They informed me I was an hour late and had to reschedule. I am not sure who had the time wrong but I was so stressed out! I was able to book for Wednesday afternoon. The snow was way worse on the drive home and my mood was so not good. That night we had a special dinner for Halloween, chicken pot pie soup with buttery croissants and I used some of the apples from our tree to make a keto apple crumble but they didn't have sugar-free whipped cream at the store but I ate the sugary stuff anyway. Wednesday morning I had to go back to the dentist for my cleaning, then drive back up there for my massage. The roads were still not fully cleared of snow and that stressed me out again. The massage was really nice. It was my first time getting one because I was always so self conscious about my body to do it before. I still have those feelings somewhat, but I was determined to put it out of my mind and enjoy the experience. When I was done, I was much more relaxed and the roads were mostly clear on the drive home, so it was a much better day for me. My husband and I ate out 6 times (!) between Wednesday night and Saturday night. Ugh. I didn't restrict myself at all, and told myself Monday was back to normal eating. Some of the stuff I had was not that bad, a turkey wrap, a bowl of beef stew, and Sunday night I made spaghetti with what I call "fresca" topping, chopped tomatoes, fresh basil, onions, fresh garlic, a little olive oil and some Italian seasoning. We had focaccia bread with butter and garlic too. And for dessert I made apple butter from our apples. Definitely not low carb but so tastey on wheat bread. I felt so ready to clean up my diet by Sunday night! I can only be so excited about indulging when its that frequent. I realized that a huge part of the reason I allowed myself to go off the rails was because by the time my progesterone kicked in at about the third week of the month, I started to see this less as a fun challenge and more as restrictive. That little difference between "I can't have that" and "I choose not to eat that" makes a huge difference when it comes to the mind. My weight on Monday was back up to 160 and since then, has only dropped to 159. So I undid some of the progress I made in October. That's life. I can only look ahead and plan better for next time. In the future, if I am going to do a whole month challenge, I will either start it after my cycle starts, so I end around the time the progesterone kicks in, or plan for better mental strategies to remind myself why I am doing it. The exercise did not stick after the month ended, when I am not consciously challenging myself, my focus drifts so easily. I did make time for yoga today, and I have been back to clean eating all week. That part is easy for me, I generally like keto food. Fats and protein are tasty. I have not, in any way, restricted my use of liquid stevia, and I needed heavy whipping cream for my pot pie soup recipe, so I am still having it in my morning coffee. I do know that I have lost weight easier when I stop using cream in my coffee. I will likely be done with this container Friday at the latest and won't buy more. I am getting my 15 hour fasting in every day, that part is easy for me too. I haven't done a longer fast since October ended. I was recently reflecting on my two fitness goals I made at the beginning of the year and realizing, there's still time to try. One was to be able to do 10 real push ups. I realized during one of my workouts in October that I was already there. I did 12 push ups before I had to switch to doing the rest on my knees. That was a great moment when I realized I accomplished that. The other goal was to do a 72 hour fast. I have done a lot of 24-hour fasts and only one 36 hour. I would have to do anothe and 48 hour fast before I attempt a 72. 24 hour heals the gut, 36 hours gives you a metabolic reset, 48 hours resets dopamine receptors and 72 hours resets your entire immune system. The autophagy process cleans out old, defective cells and makes new ones. Also, while you are not eating, your body produces ketones which make you burn up stored fat for fuel. The hardest part of it wouldn't be the hunger, that passes and is not constant, for me the hardest part would be not having sweeteners for that long. But I know I shouldn't be having them while I'm fasting anyway. I think I will start eliminating sweeteners during my fasting window starting next week, in preparation for some longer fasts. I do still feel confident that I can get back down to 155 before my birthday on December 29th, and hopefully I will have shed some more pounds and will have a 72 hour fast under my belt too. I have to have challenges to stay focused or I just go on autopilot. I am doing this to change and grow, none of which will happen if I don't challenge myself a little.