Chains

I am on vacation this week, in preparation for my largest event of the summer, a celebration/street festival for our lake community. People come from all over the state to enjoy this festival and shop the art booths. I did pretty well selling my art last year, despite not having much art to show. This time, I am actually going to have to decide what to display because I have more art than I can fit in my booth. I am hoping I at least make my booth fee back, which was $100 for two days. I took this week off so preparation isn't stressful. My goals I had in mind in my last blog didnt go as planned. A taco truck from the area we used to live has been coming to our tiny town and my husband has been favoring going there before getting groceries instead of going to Jimmy John's. The food is so good. I get two street tacos with no side so it's not super bad food. Still, my resolve to keep the weekends cleaner sort of fell apart. I made a keto-friendly dinner one Sunday, but my mind quickly shifted to waiting until fall to be strict again. It's so like me to want to procrastinate the stuff that's a challenge. Honestly, as I hit my progesterone/PMS phase at the end of July, I was doing pretty good, but then gave into the craving to eat in between meals and really indulged in peanuts again. They make my stomach feel bad but I love the taste and texture, and they are relatively inexpensive for a somewhat clean snack. My cycle never started, buy I kept eating like I was still in progesterone phase, blasting through jars of salted peanuts and melted cheese "crackers". So when this week off was coming, I knew I wasn't going to stick to my plan, it was a permissive pass from caring this week. I have gone to the store for snacks 3 days in a row. Crackers, Chips, ice cream and trail mix. I kept teetering between wondering why I was doing it and just brushing it off, knowing Monday I will clean things up again. To no big surprise, I was mildly depressed this week. I have noted this before when I allow more carbs into my diet and the fact that this happened again this time is proof to me that garbage carbs have a negative effect on my mood. My stomach also was unhappy with me. I can't believe how much better I feel, physically, when I eat low carb. In preparation for getting back on track Monday, I decided to watch some of my favorite keto YouTube channels because it makes me feel connected to things that are healthy and thriving and that reinvigorates me mentally and helps me focus on my goals. one of the videos I watched was Dr. Ken Berry's on breaking chains of things that will keep you from surviving this crazy world. Here's the link for anyone interested https://www.youtube.com/live/zqLzBK7eDFA?si=EbBNnjyaC73CzMcD So, if you are new to him, he's a straight shooter and very passionate about health. What I took from the video, and what I always take from his videos, is that anyone, in any shape can get better, you just have to put the work in. This is not a new concept but this week (and many weekends) I have been allowing myself to be lazy about my goals, and it doesn't make me happy. I think one thing he says is "Get your butt off the couch!" I felt "busted" when I heard that, as I spent all day sitting and snacking with very little movement other than walking my dog in the morning. I did do some physical therapy for my hips last week and used my standing desk more, but not consistently. So, I was thinking about how a month long challenge seems overwhelming sometimes, because what I plan never allows for things that make the week more challenging like if we have an event or other things going on, or for those progesterone weeks where hunger is heightened and energy is lower. So my next idea is to have weekly goals instead of month-long goals, so I can customize it to what is happening that week. For example, lately during PMS I just crave the act of crunching on nuts even if I'm not hungry. last week I ran out of nuts for a couple days and was trying to reverse the conditioning by not buying more so when those cravings hit, I chewed some sugar-free flavored gum and I did get through it. I later caved and bought more nuts, but maybe my goal for PMS week will be something like having a cup of hot tea (which always makes me feel full) or chewing gum instead of eating when I get a craving not driven by genuine hunger. Then for non-PMS weeks the goals might be more challenging. I have gotten this weight off before, almost to the same exact point, then started to let the weekends get lax, then before I knew it, I just went back to autopilot, eating when and what I wanted with zero regard for my health. I don't want to repeat that. I've worked way too hard to get the weight off this time to see that go the other way. So now that the all my summer vacation weeks are behind me, I can start getting my mind back to the place of working toward trying to see the scale dip into the 140's. I know if I commit, it will happen. My next week off isn't until Halloween, so that gives me plenty of time to get back in a good headspace before then. I am not letting this go. I know for me, when I start to lose my focus, it's important to surround myself with keto videos and recipes because it always brings me back like someone drawing the curtains back and letting the sun in. The thing is, I didn't go off plan because I'm struggling or feel restricted, it was just because I am off this week and I could. Every time I have done this since going keto, I have ended up feeling like crap both physically and mentally. It's almost like self abuse. Maybe that's the bloat talking. Ugh. Anyway, I will be fine. I'm ready to feel better. Even my teeth hate me, and for only the 3rd time in my life, I got a freaking cold sore under my nose! I think my body is paying me back for my terrible snacking. The gift is that I have been well enough to know that when my body feels this way, it's because this is not what it needs or wants. When I was 206 pounds and eating all kinds of nutrient-lacking food-like substances, my body couldn't feel anything.