September Feels

September has a feel, doesn't it? The end of summer seems to come so abruptly and then there is just a total shift in mood. There is the nostalgia of school days, of focusing on work and planning how I was going to be disciplined and focus on conquering goals. And the darker mornings and earlier sunsets are a reminder that all-too-soon we will be wrapping ourselves up before we go outside to trudge around in the snow. Every year, by the end of August, I feel a tug of depression creep up at the perceived "loss" of summer. I feel like so summer was so busy, but it wasn't really busy with art. That was partly by design, and partly because I backed out of 2 of the 4 events I had scheduled due to weather. The two events I did do were OK, nothing earth shattering. The event in my own town I did pretty well because we actually had a cruise ship in harbor, and a lot of the passengers came to shop. That was fun to meet people from father away. The auction of the sailboat art was September 19, and it felt like there was less fanfare around them this year. Bidding started in May and a few pieces got a bid or two early, but it look most of the summer to really start getting more bids. The day before the bidding closed, there was an artist's reception where the public could come down and meet the artists. It was an outdoor event, and it rained the whole time,so attendance was really not good.

My project didn't have any bids after all summer and the reception and I had a lot of doubt about my skill and choices. That's not uncommon as an artist, but it feels awful. The day after the reception, I was supposed to have a booth at a harvest festival for the same people who run the street art, but the forecast showed it was supposed to rain most of the time we would be there, so I canceled. I watched the bidding all day on the closing day and all day I still had no bids. I'm not going to lie, I was so deflated. At ten minutes before the close of bidding, I decided not to look again until it was over. They decreased the opening bid in hopes of getting someone to bid. Finally in the last minutes, someone bid. The next day, I got a message from my friends from church saying they were so pleased they won the bid on my art. I felt really humbled. Its one thing to think of some well-off art collector buying my art, and quite another to think of someone buying it who knows me, and that just adds meaning to it. I was really touched that they did that! Besides the art stuff, summer was busy with meet-ups with family, seemingly a lot of errands, painting our garage, so much weeding in the flowerbeds and I have been teaching my son to drive and trying to learn Neurosurgery coding, which I had to do a lot of studying outside of work for because its so complex. At the beginning of summer, I had really good intentions to get back on track. July was pretty solid and I actually got close to getting back into the 160's but I really just let the weekends slide most of summer. Taking entire weeks off is one area where things go awry for sure, and those weeks tend to have the worst food choices, despite knowing it makes my gut feel terrible! Still, there is a connection I make with time off and celebratory eating and drinking. Then I procrastinate cleaning up the weekends until all my events are over for the year. When I had my cholesterol retested in August, it was right after an indulgent weekend and my numbers were still not where my provider wants them, but they were heading in the right direction. She gave the option to test again in November before we discuss cholesterol medication. I know that high cholesterol actually has a very small risk factor for heart attacks compared to diabetes, so I am not overly concerned, but I do want to prove that I can clean up my health when I work at it. My labs were the big thing that prompted me to give keto a try in the first place, I just lost focus for a bit and got a little lax. I have had a lot of salads this summer when eating out, but there have been enough burgers, fries or family meals with couscous or rice sides. Fortunately, my weight has remained fairly stable in the mid 170's but that is still 20 pounds up from where I was when I was really committed to it. So I am starting to refocus for another push. I am committed to making October clean to give myself the best chance of an improvement on the November labs. I was toying with the idea of making a goal weight to work for by the end of the year, but I haven't committed to it yet. My plan isn't really very different. I will be aiming to keep my carbs under 20-30 grams a day, get back into fasting, and get into the habit of 3 of my 5 weeklt workouts focused on strength or HIIT training. I already get cardio walking the dog every morning and the other 2 days I do yoga. That seems easy enough on paper. I am actually already feeling a positive mind shift, so I know it will be a good shift to combat the fall and winter blues.