Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Mmmmmm...Cookies!

Below is my bounty for today.  It is not quite 9am and I have eaten nearly half a tube of chocolate chip cookie dough, 3 Doritos and half a can of Rockstar.  I did eat in my car because I had only 15 minutes to get what I needed, get gas in my car and get to work.  If it had been at home I would have eaten it there.  It did feel a little liberating, I didn't flinch buying it, and even eating some in my office, I imagined what my coworkers might think, and I planned my answer, "I'm doing this intuitive eating thing."  No questions asked, it is what it is.
What I learned about this morning's go at it?  Cookie dough tastes better if you let it warm up ever-so-slightly, fills you up like a load of bricks being dropped in your stomach, and half a tube is WAY too much sweet at once, which makes me crave salty regardless of my hunger level.  Before I dove into the Doritos, I had an intuitive feeling that I would only need a few to satisfy and I was right.  3 was the perfect amount to cut the sweet.  I also realized that I am drinking an energy drink despite the fact that I don't feel sluggish.  I have had my doubts about this method but is am already discovering things about myself that I wouldn't have learned living on auto-pilot or trying to force willpower and deprivation to work.  And now that I see the value in doing this, it will be easier to tell my husband about it.  I have to take this back for me; I'm the only one who can soothe the broken stuff inside and figure out how to handle problems without putting chocolate chip cookie dough in my mouth.

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