Monday, May 16, 2016

Its all OK

I don't have a proclamation to make, but I noticed some positive changes throughout the week last week.  It feels strange to say that I'm making progress toward a goal to be healthier because I'm not restricting and I don't feel deprived.  That confused my brain a little.  In the past, I would have been beating myself up about eating pasta one night, or about having a bagel with my breakfast because I have really trained my brain to equate my eating of carbs with me being a weak loser.  The diet mentality is a mindf#ck that leads to dieters feeling aweful about themselves.  The psychology of not restricting means a lot less stuff beckons to me just for the sake that it's naughty, indulgent stuff that's off limits. I know I can have it whenever I want, so that takes a certain amount of the power out it.
I had salad for lunch last week because I felt like my body was craving nutrients.  I figured out one of the reasons I don't eat more salad is because I usually figure if I need to add the healthiest greens (kale, spinach, microgreens, etc) and not only are they bitter, but they spoil quickly and I end up wasting so much. So I mix some kale in with my shredded iceberg (which I absolutely love), load it with veggies, banana peppers, feta and sunflower kernels and it's so flavorful I don't even need dressing.  I bought and ate a lot of berries too during the week.  I do believe if we listen to our body it tells us what we need.  Our brains and emotions just get in the way and we let them run amok.
The weekend was one of the most relaxing ones I have had since...I can't even remember.  Other than our standard grocery run, I did not go out at all this weekend.  No running around, no seeking and searching, not even a restaurant.  I am fighting a chest cold and I really didn't have the energy to be out and about, especially since the weather was not great.  I think I have needed that for so long, but I was depriving myself of it by having and making too many plans always.  I watched some Seinfeld and we did order in veggie burgers from a local restaurant and I didn't have any wine, even though it sounded good, I knew it'd make my lungs and head feel even worse.  I did notice that, the not being active made my spirits sag a bit, but a little housework and taking the dog out for walks more often helped.  I am looking forward to nicer weather this week and hopefully I will kick this virus to the curb as well. 
I lost my focus on my inner voice a little during my lazy weekend, and that's OK sometimes, I really just needed some true downtime, to turn off my brain from all the have-to's and just truly veg-out.  I could stand to do that more often!  My food was not the healthiest stuff I've ever eaten, but not the worst, but I truly didn't really put much thought or effort into the why's, I was really just checked-out.  I didn't even read.  And I'm OK with a break like that, which is a huge deal because this would have killed me in the past. 
So things are just going.  Not good or bad, just...going.  And I feel generally content.  And I can't really argue with that. 

1 comment:

  1. Feeling content is HUGE. It is a real blessing, even if it is just a feeling. I totally relate to what you say about the diet mindset here too. I feel so much more free, and less driven to eat junk, because I CAN if I want to and it is not some kind of "sin" or a reflection of my worth.

    Aside... I had the problem with greens spoiling, and I now get lots of greens in my CSA box. I bought a Rubbermaid Freshworks container at Walmart and I put the greens in there, unwashed, and they last and look fresh a lot longer! I use ot for berries, too.

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