What Comes Next

I am feeling pretty drained lately, and have even been sleeping through my alarm, which is not like me.  I do believe that all the extra noise with two fans (or a fan and the air conditioner) is partly to blame, and I am just not hearing it.  I will have to adjust the volume of my alarm I guess.  I hate waking up late, it throws my whole schedule off and I feel a little off kilter all day. 
At any rate, I got the dog out and had a yummy breakfast and hit the mat.  I was a lot less enthusiastic today.  I think it is due to where I am in my cycle/hormones etc.  I have been craving sweets the past few days too.  I have not had any sweets today and do not intend to.  Luckily the kids finished off that cake I brought home on Sunday so that is not there to temp me anymore. 
Day 23 of the yoga challenge was focused on the upper body which gave the legs a little break.  That was nice, but equally challenging if not more.  We did planks and side planks.  I am not great at the side planks, I find it really hard to balance, especially because I am shaking a lot.  I tried one of the modifications but then pushed myself to get proper form and did it.  I lost my balance a bunch of times but just got right back into it.  Maybe today was a day I should have taken a break, or maybe my arms are just that much weaker than my legs, but my workout today didn't make me feel awesome like I usually do.  My arms feel like lead and I am just generally feeling pretty groggy and a little crabby.  Again, that could be all to do with hormones and nothing to do with the yoga.  I know when I feel like this that I need a little TLC for myself.  Today I will do some gentle stretching and maybe even massage my own neck and shoulders a little, and tonight I will take a long soak in a bubble bath.  Doesn't that sound delicious?
I am trying to remind myself that even though I may be crabby for physiological reasons, I don't have to go along with it.  I can change course of my mood by thinking about all the things I am grateful for.  My mom got one test result back yesterday and everything looked normal on it.  We still have a long way to go, but that sure felt good to see that word "Normal".  There are a million and one more things to be grateful for and I will spend some time reflecting on them throughout the day, and as many days as this funk lasts.  It's a little mind-self therapy if you will.  \
I have been thinking about how much it affects me when I have periods of time where my downtime is dramatically reduced and I was thinking about trying to make a plan to do at least one selfish thing for myself every day or evening.  Then I realized I do yoga, that is just for me and it feels like a gift to myself.  But maybe there is something more needed, something for my emotional health.  That was the goal of my Past, Present, Future plan I started and quickly let slip away as other things crowded my mind.  Maybe a new commitment to that will be helpful along this current journey.  I will give it some more thought. 
One week left of this yoga challenge.  I'm looking forward to whatever comes next!

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