Stress and experiments
Today was just one of those days where everything falls to pieces a little bit. As insignificant as it is in the scope of things, I started off with a bad hair day and everything went to pot after that. I had to pick up my older son from school due to bad behavior, I spilled or dropped or broke a huge majority of the things I touched, didn't have a healthy lunch planned so I ended up eating a microwaveable pizza (ooh boy, culinarily delight), I had customers yelling at me for problems someone else caused, major shipping department issues, while I was training a boy how to use contact lenses he was crying so hard right in an open spot where the entire waiting room of people could see...it just seemed like today everyone and everything was demanding way more of me than I had to give. I am so irritated to say that my exhaustion has returned without warning and I am so tired of the cycle.
I tried to research some things myself today, which I insist on doing even though it hasn't helped me much in the past. One of the things I looked up is why my knee still hurts so much after having the torn cartilage removed. I found an orthopedic doctor that went into great depth about this and said it is really common, and some of the most common causes of it are stopping physical therapy too soon, tight tendons or muscles and weak supporting muscles. I admit, I thought maybe this was a botched surgery or that I'd re-injured it until I heard it from an ortho dr that this is common, and very easily treated. I have just been way too inconsistent with working to rehab my knee.
Another thing I looked up is my fatigue. Again. And I Googled it just like I am feeling, "why am I so tired all the time?"
I found a fluff article from some magazine with the word "health" in the title, skimmed through it hastily. I really want to be diagnosed with something so I can move on, not read some fluff about not using my phone before bedtime. But after looking over the article it did make me pause. Most days aren't like today with my level of irritation skyrocketing and a bunch of stress piled on top. I have been accused of being really easy-going and pleasant as a person. So I don't think stress is much of an answer for me. I'll toss depression in that same boat, been there, feels like my own personal Hell, I don't think I am depressed. A few things did pique my interest though. They are not new, but I have always brushed them off. Water. Exercise. Nutrition. My thinking has been teetering between poles so much lately. Geneen Roth vs South Beach Diet. Sleep more vs get up and work out. Find a new dr and see if they can figure out what's wrong with me or finally try what everyone has been saying all along to see if it works. The scarey part about that last one is learning my friend's story. She started feeling run-down/exhausted in August and it wasn't until January she found out she had end-stage, in-operable cancer. At diagnosis they told her without treatment she would only live 12 weeks, with treatment she will live less than 1 year. So when I weigh out the uncomfortable feeling of bothering another doctor or going back to my own for the same old things, vs maybe there really is something wrong and we've missed it, my friend's story makes me feel like I would be stupid not to keep looking for answers. It may be something as minor as hormonal changes or adrenal fatigue. It may be just part of aging. Whatever it is, I want to know. I have my annual physical exam due in May and I think I can go sooner than that if I want, but until that time, I am going to try a few experiments.
1. Physical therapy exercises on my lower body. I have to admit, when I do them, I have less popping and pain. I will make more effort to be more consistent.
2. More water. I used to be so good about this, and now I'm a slacker.
3. Better nutrition. I still believe in Geneen's philosophy in examining why I want to eat when I'm not hungry (I used it today when I was stressed out and it worked). Part of her program is to listen to your body and eat the things that make you feel good and don't eat the things that make you feel bad (physically). Junk-carbs like donuts and chocolate make me feel bloated and uncomfortable. I always feel my best when I keep my carbs reigned in a little. I also will be trying to eat more veggies.
4. Stretching and meditation. I've really let these two things slide with all my college work, but they make me feel so good that I need to make a little more time for them.
5. Skin. Maybe it's odd, but the skin on my face is so dry and dull. I haven't worn makeup for nearly 15 years so I don't bother washing my face unless I was in the heat a lot during the day. I do use moisturizer on my face, but I hate how no matter how carefully I apply it, it always ends up in my eyes later on. So I am going to make an effort to wash and exfoliate my face, which feels really refreshing, I've just been neglecting it. My skin is naturally dry, and I don't like the feeling of not putting moisturizer on it, but I am going to see if the combination of washing and drinking more fluids makes a difference without the moisturizers.
So those are the things I want to try to see if they really make that much difference. I have also started taking a multivitamin with a low dose of iron, just to see if it makes any difference and I am taking an OTC allergy medicine due to recurring positional vertigo (allergies were suspected but not diagnosed).
So much going on, it'll be hard to know which change is working, but I don't consider it a bad thing if I continue these healthy habits.