I Hate Worrying about my Health

When I first started my Vitual Mission I was excited and thought that it might just be a clever tool to get me moving.  And I did move, for a few days, then I really stopped being excited and just kind of dropped out.  Meh.  One reason is because I was pushing myself through pain that probably shouldn't have been ignored.  My Achilles' tendon has sustained several small injuries over the years and is now starting to make me feel awful after walking for cardio.  I stretch it and ice it but still it is irritated.  The knee I had surgery on and the opposite hip were also starting to get irritated with my increased activity too.  Walking is easy but it ends up hurting me.  I think 2 things need to happen before getting back into using walking as a form of cardio: 1, I have to strengthen my entire lower body and 2, I have to take some weight off to start with.  I have been thinking about getting a stationary bike because it does really work my leg muscles, particularly the ones that help the knee track properly, and it's something I can do year-round.  I'll see about that in the coming weeks.

Last Tuesday I had my procedure to remove the polyp from my uterus and have the lining ablated to help me have shorter/lighter monthlies.  I tried to have only positive thoughts, and my husband kept me laughing during pre-op.  I wasnt concerned about the procedure itself or recovery, I was worried that I wasn't healthy enough to undergo general anesthesia.  A good friend of mine died when she was put under, her heart stopped and they couldn't get it restarted.  That weighs on me so heavy whenever I need anesthesia.  Last time was for my knee in 2013, and I was about 30 pounds lighter and in my mind, much healthier than I am now.  Lately ice been needing an inhaler more and more and I've been getting cramps in my throat.  I will try to have an asthma test yet before the end of the year, and just have my lungs tested.  They haven't felt the same since I got horribly sick in May. I think I'm most worried about my heart.  And I think this year when I have my yearly physical I am going to request a stress test to make sure I'm going to be ok.  I hate having to be worried about my health all the time, I know it could be much worse in the future if I don't fix things.  I just haven't felt motivated or inspired.  I need to get that back.  Somehow.  If only there was a magic solution, then we'd all be fit and healthy and we'd have to find something else to focus on as a society!  Maybe someday.  For now my plan of action is to have the nagging health issues checked and start scoping stationary bikes.  I have to believe I'll get my head straight at some point. Maybe I can bike those miles to Sacramento and maybe I'll learn more about myself and this trip along the way.