Some days just have a feel. It's hard to change it too, isn't it? Yesterday, I didn't want the feel to change. My alarm malfunction led to 22 blissful extra minutes of sleep which contained a very euphoric dream (about exercise of all things) and after waking I still felt really calm, happy and miraculously rejuvenated. Oh how I wish I could feel that way every day! My day at work was finally (finally!) mellow enough for me to get caught up on some much-needed catch-up and a little cleaning and organization. It made for a nice day, and after work went smoothly too, I even had a little extra time to sneak in a nice soak in the tub. Ahhh!
Today has had an edgy, restless feeling to me, despite it being early still. I was early getting the kids ready, but later to work than I like to be. So far it is fairly quiet. I walked around in my work space to try and warm up my cold hands, and when that wasn't working I decided to do some squats. I do not do deep-knee because of my knee surgery, but I feel like my weak glutes were begging for some TLC and it felt good to get the blood into my lower body. It has been so long. After, as I was helping a customer look at eyeglass frames, she wanted to see one on the top row. I am only 5 feet tall and the top row is easily reachable, I don't even have to have my arm completely stretched out. She was taller than me and she wouldn't reach up to get it. It's not uncommon for older ladies to not want to reach up there and get a frame, but I just chalked it up to meekness or it not being ladylike or something. Today I was pondering my legs and how I wish they were stronger but I hate what it takes to get there, and how I feel for days after, and when I had the encounter with this lady it made me appreciate what I have. I can easily stand on my tiptoes to get something up high. I have balance and strong calf muscles from a lifetime of short-girl reaching of things from tall'ish areas. All my body parts that I need for reaching a thing are intact and still working. As I paced around some more, not really sure if it was for warmth or a quasi-attempt at some cardio, or just to think, I focused on my legs and the act of walking and how, for the most part it is effortless. I have been tripping on my feet lately at work, and blaming it on the new shoes I got in late fall, but really, I've been not picking my feet up as much as I need to to not trip, just out of lazy habit or just not really thinking about it. Every time I trip I resolve to be more aware of my step and to pick my feet up a little more but I have not been successful. At any rate, I am gratful that I can still walk and it even feels somewhat graceful when I do (except when I am tripping, ha ha). I can take the stairs. I can ride a bike. I can run if I want to, and jump and kneel and bend and twist. I am damn near invicible aren't I?! I jest. But truly, I take these things for granted or complain about what I don't have, which makes me feel bad, when really I should focus more on what I do have.
It was a lesson that was echoed in my next transaction, one of the most difficult repair jobs that we do, some places won't even do it on-site because it is tedious and requires maticulous cuts and the right amount of pressure at the right angle. It is one of those types of jobs that I just swear inside my head when they are presented. FML not one of these. And to make matters even trickier, she has a really thick lens due to a high prescription. As I was on my third attempt, praying things would line up right and irritated that my luck felt soured by the mere fact that she chose my shop to come have this repaired at, I looked at her uber-thick lenses and wondered what if these fell apart while she was driving?! Then, I was gratful that I could fix them for her, that I have the skill and patience to do it, and I was ever so gratful that I didn't have a bunch of other customers waiting for me because I would have been stressed out for making them wait. I reconsidered my idea about the mood of the day being hard to change. The truth is, I can change it with the perspective I choose to look at things.
To help with some of my restlessness, I searched recipes and found a few that I am going to try out next week. So a plan is at least in place. I have needed a change for some time. If they turn out good, I will post the names of them. For lunch I am going to have what I like to call a Salad Bar salad. The kind of salad I would put together if I were at a salad bar; greens, onions, tomatoes, black olives, and sunflower kernels. I would typically ladel ranch dressing over it in a restaurant, but to keep things a little more healthy I'll use a yogurt based ranch dressing. It sounds so good to me I wish I had it right now. That's something I haven't said about food in a while, so that must mean I am craving fresh, crunchy veggies.
Though I have been distracted by other things lately, I feel like in a small way, they helped open some things up for me so that I could come back to this focus on my body and health in a more positive way. That may sound strange, but learning about my ancestors, many of them farmers, many of them dying early from now-manageable diseases, makes me think empathetically about what their life was like. To see wars and travel so far to a strange place, having to do physical labor in such a harsh landscape (at least in winter) and at times the German immigrants were treated pretty poorly in this country. It makes me gratful for their struggles that have made my life not only possible but pretty darn great. It also makes me have compassion for others I encounter every day. We are all a huge mass of people who are descendent from immigrants, each one of us and them have a story. Everyone has struggles.
The mind is really the place to start, for me, trying to direct my mind toward a positive message or lessen I can take away from situations that, on the surface, look stressful or annoying. When my mind is healthier I naturally want to do better things for my body. I have been a little lost in other worlds and lazy lately but I think I'm ready to focus on this again. My goals have not changed, I still want to work towards a lasting vitality, flexability, balance, lower blood pressure, lower blood sugar, and higher HDL levels. I am still pursuing my geneology research, but not at the cost of giving my body what it needs. There is time, and room, for both.
Spring is coming soon, our weather has been teasing us with it, and I am looking forward to warm spring and summer days with flowing skirts and strappy sandals, and days at the beach! Who's with me?