Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Time to Wake Up

I love routine.  Don't get me wrong, getting out to do different stuff is nice, but I am definitely a creature of, and a slave to, routine.  Maybe it's because I feel sometimes that I am slow to catch on to certain patterns so when I do, I try to keep it rolling the same way.  I am still trying to perfect my morning routine of getting my kids ready for school.  We usually have that down pat about the last week of school before summer break! 
My routine has been foggy lately.  I do spend much more free time on family tree stuff, which means some other things are getting less focus.  I know there will be a point when I feel satisfied with the information I have gathered, but right now there are a few more puzzle pieces missing for me, this is the stuff that is finally making me feel whole; connected to a part of me that I pushed away, ignored or was just generally estranged from without really understanding why.  It is also making my desire to eat compulsively lessen even moreso than it already was, so I think that it has been therapeutic as well.
I have been noticing myself feeling sleepier/tired/drained more of the time and I can't help but wonder if it is partially because my menu the past couple weeks has been much less reliant on veggies than it was a few weeks ago.  I do notice how much strain I put on my eyes by trying to look at documents (in German script) on my iPhone, and I am having an eye exam on Thursday to see if I need stronger bifocals.  No shame in my game, I would rather use a tool that's available than struggle and suffer.  I am, as usual, thinking about finding new things for my main meals, hopefully with more veggie content.  Sometimes it's hard for me because I want a hot meal but I'm touchy about reheated food.  I may have to get creative!  If you have some killer recipe/meal ideas feel free to leave them in the comments.  The thing is, there are so so many recipes out there these days that it is overwhelming to wade through them all!  You almost have to zero in on an ingredient you want to use first.  I don't have any particular ingredients in mind.  How do you plan your meals for the week?  I usually plan on planning things by Friday, procrastinate until Saturday morning (right before I go shopping) then I get frustrated and wing it or eat the same thing even if I'm sick of it. 
This week?  Think Thin Berry Oatmeal with hemp hearts and chia seeds added for breakfast, and (yawn) taco salads for lunch and (double yawn) veggie burgers for dinner with the same old nuts and yogurt for snacks.  I really need to shake it up next week, I am getting so very bored with my food. 
You might guess that since I've been feeling more tired, I am not doing anything else good for my body.  Sigh.  I don't stretch, I don't hit the bike or go for a walk, I just sleep until 5am and then jump right into the morning chaos.  I have been totally slacking, but yesterday I had a bit of a disappointing experience.  One of my regular customers whom I've gotten to know quite well, came to tell me that she had her heart calcium scoring done and it came out with horrible results.  She then went through two stress tests and it was determined that a part of her heart is not working properly, she has a lot of calcium (read, plaque) and she has to have a procedure done.  She is very scared due to a botched surgery she had some years ago.  She was tearing up as she told me, and I began to do the same.  I put myself in her shoes for a minute, because her story could have easily been mine with my family history/ previously high cholesterol and blood pressure.  It made me feel aweful that I have allowed my focus on health to wax and wane, as if I am invincible because one test or two tests came out good.  I have to remind myself of the things that didn't come out as good as I wanted, my good cholesterol and my blood sugars.  Granted, both are still in normal ranges, but on the less desirable end of the spectrum.  The thing that helps both of them is exercise.  I have to work on bringing my focus back to long-term health. I know right now what estrogen I have left is buffering my heart, but it won't be there forever, and I definitely don't want to have to deal with diabetes.  I am hoping that, by the time I hit my next physical exam at the end of the year, both of those things will have been bettered.  It is a goal, something I lost focus of after my own heart calcium score came out so good.  Sometimes it takes looking at the luck we already have, in comparison to how bad some others have it, to make us realize what we've been taking for granted.  I am going to try to make time for focusing exercises for at least five minutes a night, maybe before bed.  It will be five minutes that I dedicate to thinking about my body and my health and my long-term goals; five minutes I tune out all the other stuff going on in my day and focus on the pillar where all of it takes place, my body.  I think it will lead to good things and help remind me that tunnel vision is usually counter-productive because it means the exclusion of so many things.  Plus, it is one nice little way to add a little structure and routine into my night.
Hey it's not Monday anymore.  That, for one thing, is a great way to start a new day right?  Happy Tuesday!

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