Mom Brain and Monkey Mind

This morning I woke up late.  Not an hour late, just a mere 15 minutes, but that really made me feel "off" all morning.  I got the dog out and he wanted to go sniff everything in site.  We walked casually for a half hour before I called it quits because I was already running behind.  I decided to make the breakfast I had planned.  This was supposed to be a fresh start for me, of sorts, by making different food choices that were a welcomed change.  So, I cooked breakfast.  As I was doing it, the tedious, time-consuming aspect of it was starting to make me regret it.  Spread the eggs really thin on the pan so they make a tortilla-like shell to fill with goodies.  Crap! It ripped.  Then I dropped a piece of one on the stove top.  In the end, I had a pile of egg, bac'n, avocado and lettuce on a plate, I was running even later than normal, and a little stressed out and disappointed.  Sure, it tasted good, especially with the eggs cooked in Ghee (clarified butter), but I could have saved a lot of time and headache and just made eggs over-easy with a side of avocado and it would have been quicker and just as tasty.  So my lesson is that, breakfast absolutely has to be easy, either pre-made or no cooking involved.  Most of the summer I had a bagel or greek yogurt with frozen berries and that worked well.  I'm sure I can figure other stuff out that can be made ahead too.  I think in the effort to make my food more interesting I am actually just complicating things.  As Julie Child would say, "Balls to that!"
Lunch this week is low fat cottage cheese with fresh strawberries.  I found some perfectly ripe organic strawberries and man are they delicious!  They pair well with the cottage cheese.  Plus, no prep, no cooking, and I didn't have to spend a lot of mental energy thinking about how to jazz it up or make it better. 
Funny thing is, I can't, for the life of me, figure out what I was supposed to be eating for dinner this week based on the groceries in my fridge.  I stood in my kitchen chuckling last night, and when I got to the point of famished, had a bagel and moved on with life.  I have plain yogurt, not sure what I bought that for.  This is either Mom-brain or just old lady brain!  I have albacore tuna I can use to make a fresh salad, that actually sounds simple and tasty. 
I have been eating more meat lately and it is going OK.  I know I have my limit with how much I can palate before I hit something that disgusts me then I'll be off meat again.  For now, I am mostly still eating vegetarian, but I've had tuna, chicken and turkey this summer, and even ate beef when I was on vacation, something I thought I could live without having for good.  It has been a welcome change, especially when eating out, to not be forced to eat the veggie wrap or the whatever portabella creation the restaurant happens to have.  There is such little imagination put into vegetarian food at restaurants where I live.  I can see why Millenials are opting more for home-cooked meals. 
I digress.  Food is still something I think about a lot.  I go through periods of eating freely and getting sick of all the fat, salt and sugar and how it makes me feel, then I go on a salad and dairy kick and get bored with that.  Teeter-totter, teeter-totter.  I think I need a much bigger menu to choose from, but deep down at my core, I'm kind of a picky eater.  I'm a pain in my own ass, is what I'm saying.  Sometimes I get so sick of thinking of it all, that's why I go on autopilot.  Hot pocket for lunch? Sure that sounds good, I just won't look at the ingredients.  Jelly beans for the morning snack?  Sounds good.  I'll atone for that later, but I should really eat some kale and microgreens at lunch to "get back on track" even though I really don't like the taste of that stuff. 
I get it that I like things simple, but the food that will help maintain health doesn't come in a bag or a box, and sometimes I think I overthink things to the point that my brain can't think anymore.  Do I just want my cholesterol score to be good or do I care about molecular health?  Am I getting enough greens, and how do I do that when I don't like them?  What the heck do people eat for breakfast other than eggs and overnight oats?  I just don't feel that creative sometimes, and other times (like this morning) when I go through the trouble of trying to be creative with my food, it ends up irritating me more than inspiring me.
Sigh.  Maybe I should just agree to be in total disagreement with myself about what to do.  I am at a strange place with food right now.  That doesn't mean I am tossing in the towel, but experience has taught me I will either end up being strict with food or totally on autopilot.  This all takes time that I don't feel like I have, to figure out.  I feel like my "to-do" list is so full I am to-done.  It makes me want to retire to the patio with a drink and a book, to ignore my ever-growing list of responsibilities.  My "me time" brain is whining and tantruming pretty good right now!  Maybe some ice cream will shut it up!  I joke. 
This blog post has gotten out of control with Monkey Mind and I will end it before someone gets hurt!  Happy Tuesday all! 


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