Confidence, What's that?

I love love love that the weather is finally getting warm enough to wear skirts again!  I truly believe I was born to be in warm weather, to wear skirts and sandals all the time, but fate didn't let that become my reality so I really cherish the time when the weather allows for it.  I am probably a little early on the sandals, it's only in the 40's, but I am literally inside all day long so the only time I regret it is in the car.  My commute is about 15 minutes, totally tolerable. 
Skirts make me feel much more feminine and attractive.  I like that they flow and move with you when you walk; almost makes this 5'0'" girl feel taller somehow.  So they boost my mood a little.  Bonus!
My work is having a new challenge revolving around eating a variety of fruits and veggies for the next month, I opted out of this challenge because I will already be getting a good portion of fruits and veggies, but I do think that I want to keep being active now that my 10,000 steps a day challenge ended.  I do not want to use steps as the be-all-end-all, so today I pedaled like crazy on my stationary bike, 22 minutes of biking, then I did 10 minutes of walking to help cool down.  My legs felt like I just got done weight training them.  Actually, my whole lower body felt a little tired, in a good way, after that.  I originally wanted to do it to test if my forehead perspires because I don't think it does and that is odd.  Sure enough, after all that time biking, my arms/pits/ even my inner elbows and knees were sweaty, but not my forehead.  So odd.  I will mention it to my doctor next month.  I can't help but dance when I have music on, so that is going to be something I add back in too.  Spring always makes me feel like moving!
On Friday I had a moment of clarity amidst the chaos of demands and problem-solving at work.  I realized that my posture has gotten so much straighter and I was walking with ease.  I felt it course through all of me, for once, I was confident and comfortable.  And it carried on into the weekend, sitting in the car I wasn't all hunched into myself with my horrible posture, I was sitting up straight with a tall spine, yet my shoulders were relaxed and it felt so natural for once.  Perhaps the chiropractic care is helping, or perhaps I am finally, at the ripe old age of 46, coming into my own.  It has nothing to do with the weight.  At 5 ft tall, 185 pounds is still in the obese range, so it's not like I'm all skinny and feeling super confident because I lost a lot of weight.  I think it is in finding comfort in my inner self, uncovering incorrect beliefs and cutting new paths of thought for myself that I finally found my confidence.  I have faked my confidence since I was in my early 20's and now it is finally genuine.  Not cocky, just confident.  Not feeling in the way, not feeling like a burden in any way, not worrying what others think of my body, just content and confident!  That is really a gift, and it sneaked up on my so suddenly I don't even know how it happened, but I will take it and pray that it stays!  This is yet one more piece of proof that "thin doesn't equate to "happy".  Fat doesn't either, but mental health sure does, no matter what weight you are!


  1. OOO, I'm with you - I wish I could wear sandals and skirts every day!


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