Tuesday, December 16, 2014

The Healing Process

It I took a whole week off work last week, just for some time to myself, to get things done, rejuvenate and refocus.  I had a lot on my plate, sick kids, missed busses, final exams/papers to write, more car repairs, etc!  But I did take some time to just lay on the couch watching documentaries and morning news.  It felt good to have time to do things and it felt really good when I handed in the last of the papers and wrapped up my semester for a month long break.  I thrive on free time.  I wish I had more of it.  
And that got me thinking about ways I can make my morning feel less rushed.  I typically get up at 5:30 am and have less than 2 hours to get myself and my 2 sons ready and out the door.  What transpires between those two hours is pure chaos and disorder!  Clothes that fit last week suddenly don't fit, boots feel wierd or wet, gloves suddenly missing their mates while the bus is pulling up, early meetings and slippery roads, by the time I get to work, I am usually feeling exhausted and look a fright!  I know it doesn't have to be this way, so I've decided to trial a new schedule for myself to give me a little more time to get prepared for the day. One of my major projects I did during my time off was to overhaul my bedroom.  This truly is my own personal space, and over time it somehow became the dumping spot of the house, where those items we didn't want to get rid of but didn't know what to do with ended up.  So I totally changed it, cleaned out every nook and cranny, even redecorated.  Now it truly is a retreat for my overstimulated senses at the end of the day.  And I feel much more calm when I go in there.  It feels therapeutic.  
And I need therapy in all sorts of ways right now.  My body has developed so many new aches, seemingly overnight, and I am feeling really stiff and swollen and dry this winter, even though the snow hasn't been a factor yet. It doesn't help that I misjudged the edge of a chair I was standing on and fell to the ground last week too.  But even before that happened I have had a new stiff and swollen middle finger on one side and an extremely sore elbow/arm on the other.  It stinks getting old!
So I've decided that I need to get back into stretching.  My new morning schedule now has me up at 4:30am so I can do some yoga and have a  hot cup of tea while waking up.  I've chosen 12 beginner poses I found online (one is not a beginner pose and will take me a long time to master but I'm willing to try).  As I do these more I will be able to tell which ones are useful and which I need to swap out.  Today was my first day of sincere effort and it made me aware of a few things.  First, my balance is atrocious!  Second, certain parts of me are pretty flexible despite all the extra weight I carry, but my back is going to take some work to loosen up again.  And, holding a strech for 30 seconds really is hard work, especially when you are also trying not to topple over!
As usual, a work in progress.  I liked the fact that I felt less rushed and got to see my husband for a little bit (he leaves for work at 5:30).  The stretching didn't make me feel too much better physically today, but there are other factors involved.  I am choosing to look at my self care as healing.  I am healing myself, one small step at a time.  And that's as good a place to start as any.

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