Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Slowly Waking

Not a whole lot to report today.  My body was so out of sorts, sore and stiff today, after a son-with-a-nosebleed-at-3:30am kind of night, I just couldn't get up to work out this morning. My lower back was so tight it was pulling in my glutes, and I could feel a strain all the way through to my foot.  Work was busy, and I didn't get a chance to stretch or strengthen either.  I did stick to planned eating and I am now on the "weight loss" dose of garcinia cambogia.  To be honest, I was hoping it would give me more energy than it does, but it sure improves my mood, decreases my irritability, and the appetite depressant is just potent enough.  It is interesting, it seems to be returning my natural appetite, and my normal hunger signals, which have been broken for a long time.  As odd as it is, after months of yo-yo dieting, I wouldn't get the normal growling stomach, I'd get stomach pain when I was hungry.  But while taking this product, my normal growling belly has returned.  It's good to feel normal in any fashion!
My kids and I are on spring break this week, so my evenings are not consumed with hours of homework and other obligations.  It has felt so good to have some time to do the things I want to do, like relax in a warm bath.  Tonight I spent a good chunk of time on my foam roller, working out the deep knots in my lower back and glute, which was the source of my hip pain.  That roller is magic, I tell you!  It felt so good to get deep into the muscles and get the blood in there.  As soon as I got off the floor I could tell my hip was normal.  I walked around the house as if on a cloud, then took a warm bath, where I sank into a micro-nap nearly instantly.  My hip feels good right now.  It always gets stiff/sore from sleeping because I'm a habitual side-sleeper, but I'm having more success with getting it realigned.
I can't wait until it's nice enough to walk outside in the mornings.  Today felt like spring, it was warm but overcast, which made me feel happy and relaxed.  Hope it's nice where you are too!

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Little Strategies

You know it's a good morning when you find yourself dancing to your alarm!  I love the fact that iPhones now allow you to set your alarm to your iTunes library.  Right now I have my 4:50 am alarm set to NoNo's song "Pumping Blood" because my interpretation of this song 'celebrate life'!  If I am lazy and don't get up to work out, my 5:30 alarm is one of the pleasant-but-less-inspiring tones they've installed on the phone.  These strategies might be small, but they work sometimes.
I had an awesome dance session today, better than i've had in so so long.  I was sweaty and happy and felt thinner.  And for the first time in forever, my quad muscles were sore from the deep squats I was able to do (finally!!).  I felt like I found a small portion of my mojo and normalcy again.  
I know it sounds absurd, but I think the garcinia is working already!  I feel like I have melted some of my stomach(s) away and I  definitely seeing my shoulders and collarbone peek out more. I need to focus on my upper body more, sticky hot temps will be here before we know it!
Now that the snow is starting to melt, I am thinking about hitting the gym again in the mornings.  It would be like a 20- minute window, so I'd be having to do either only a few moves or supersets or droplets.  This idea will take more planning so I can make the most of my time there.  
I got a new app, think it's called Body Challenge, it helps track measurements and weight.  It will be much handier than a bunch of loose papers all over.  I am interested to see if my measurements truly have changed, I will likely measure and weigh on Fridays, because I made a "soft start" on Friday.  
I am noticing that stuffy sinuses and stiffness both disguise themselves as tiredness, something I will need to remind myself of as I go on.  The garcinia makes me thirsty, so some of its effect has a diuretic quality.  If you decide to try it, make sure you drink lots of water.  No other noticed "side effects".  Think I will go up to the 'weight loss' dose tomorrow.  Not sure how long I'll continue to take it, if I see a difference it'll be hard to stop.  It does seem to be improving my mood.  Who can argue with that?!
Today feels pretty awesome.  Hope your day does too!

Monday, March 17, 2014

Constructive Things

Constructive things I did for myself today:
Worked out, despite feeling like a zombie

Took my garcinia and ate constructive 
foods at regular intervals

Drank a lot of fluids

Resisted the habit of eating as soon as I got home, because it had only been about an hour since is eaten

Did squats, and a few lunges to help strengthen my lower body and makes my hip/knee hurt less

Wore shiny, strawberry lipgloss, and a cute, colorful pair of glasses which made me feel more attractive and boosted my mood

Going to bed at a good time, to ensure I get good rest so I can do it all again tomorrow.  

It has been a good day.  Hope yours went well too!

Week One on Garcinia Cambogia

I am happy to say, on days when I can get the proper stretching and strengthening work in, my hip has been doing somewhat better.  That is a huge deal that will mean I can be more active if it continues.  
My garcinia cambogia arrived and I began with "maintenance dose" of 1 pill 3  times a day.  I did notice I wasn't craving crazy stuff immediately, but I have to be real and admit that not only were hormones in my favor that day, but the placebo affect is poweful.  I used the maintenance dose through the weekend and today I'll increase to 2 pills 3x a day and then move to "weight loss dose" of 3x3.  It would be pricey to be on it long term, the brand I got shows there are 60 servings if you take weight loss dose, and I mistook that to mean a 2 month supply, but you take 3 doses per day, so it's only 20 days worth for $30.  
What I'm noticing so far: it really does control appetite/ cravings, even at the maintenance dose.  For me, that's a big deal.  It isn't that I didn't feel like eating or felt bad, it's more like, it takes the edge off the crazed-hungry, want-to-eat-everything-in-sight feeling.  I did sleep well, just as it claimed I would, but to be fair, sleep is not an issue for me right now, it's the feeling awake and alert that's the issue.  In that manner, I didn't notice a difference, and in fact I felt run-down and tired this weekend, but there were other factors that played into that, with my "monthly disaster " making its appearance and a family head cold trying to get passed onto me- and less caffeine than usual too.  I think once I get up to a higher dose I'll notice the energy boost more.  
I ate cheese-less veggie pizza on Friday and had a glass of wine, and are a little sugar over the weekend, that old infamous get-it-out-of-my-system-before-my-diet-starts mentality.  But I didn't go crazy, I didn't need to.  And I don't really keep too much crazy stuff in my house.  
My mother-in-law had us over for dinner last night, and she is a real Martha Stewart type.  She is an awesome cook. She knows we are vegetarian, has grilled veggie burgers for us in the past, but decided to make pecan-encrusted chicken.  My husband wouldn't eat it.  I could tell she spent a lot of time on the meal and didnt want her to feel bad that all we were eating was potatoes, green beans and fruit.  I ate about a 2 oz piece of chicken.  And after dinner I ate a piece of her apple pie with whipped cream.  I admit, the pie was a bit of a chore to get through.  It was tastey and all, just not my fave, and I could feel that chicken like a brick in my stomach. I used to think my husband was ridiculous for saying he could feel the heaviness of animal fats in his gut, I don't notice it with dairy, especially if it's a small amount, but I sure felt that chicken.  I didn't eat for the rest of the night.  
This morning I reluctantly got up to work out.  My body felt so lazy and stiff, and just generally was NOT on board with moving.  But I spent a little time on the trampoline, some time dancing and some time walking.  I eeked out 30 minutes of moving. It is something.  I am having a tough time feeling awake today, must be the head cold I'm trying to stave off.  Got some good stretching in and planning to do a little more yet.  I am going to fix this body day by day.  
Happy new week!  

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Hip Hip Hooray!

There is a girl in my adjacent office, named Dawn.  She is in her early 30's and had had no less than 3 hip surgeries in less than 2 years.  You see Dawn used to model, a perfect size 0, and after her hip was torn she gained a bit of weight.  Before the hip was properly healed, Dawn, out of frustration and self-disgust (disguised in her own mind as self-determination), decided to take up running as a way of shedding those unwanted pounds.  This put undue stress on "the good hip", which caused it to tear.  So hip surgery #2, and it should come as no surprise, despite her surgeon and physical therapist's recommendation, Dawn returns to running.  She is now recovering from a re-repair of the original hip surgery.  And is gearing up for a 5K this spring.  I shake my head because I know what she is going through to some extent.  The idea of running is powerful.  It makes you feel like you can do just about ANYTHING.  It makes you (mistakenly) feel like you are burning thousands of calories, and thinner, and stronger and UNSTOPPABLE!  But as I think back to my final 5k, my "last run", the excruciating pain I felt running on already-torn cartilege and probably weak hips, looking at others' knees all bandaged, braced and strapped up, I wondered what cost are we willing to pay for feeling unstoppable?  
Dawn is not going to be able to stop the aging process, and boy do I NOT want to be there when she begins!  Joints, in midlife, give back what you do to them earlier on.  If we can't stop and listen to our bodies, we better be prepared to use a walker, cane or wheelchair later on!  It is obvious to everyone BUT Dawn that running is just not meant for her.  Unfortunately, she is not ready to hear that.
But we all reach the point in life where we become brutally aware that our actions today have a huge impact not just on how our bodies look and feel when we are older, but also in how much stress we are self-creating but not listening.  
My hip has been so sore that I broke down and went to bed with Icy-Hot on it last night.  Slathered it on my lower back and all the way from the spine to the hip. It burned like my skin was on fire, which I tollerated because I was so hopeful it would help.  It did not.  As I limped into work, screaming in my head of how SICK OF THIS I am, I realized that it is my fear of not being taken seriously that is keeping me from making a doctor's appointment.  Well, that's one of the reasons.  Last time I went to the dr who did my knee surgery, his schedule got messed up and I was kind of shuffled in as a personal favor (we work for the same company) and even though the x ray showed that I have an extra, sharp piece of bone jutting out on that hip and my band is getting caught on it, he didn't seem to take it seriously.  He gave me a cortisone shot, which meant he was jabbing my hip bone and with a sharp needle, injecting and scraping on the bone, then he had someone come show me some stretches and strengthening.  This lady was patient and asking questions about my hip and when I told her about my incident years ago when something "snapped" and "let go" she said, "sounds like you tore something I'm there."  Anyway, I feel like my doctor looked at me as someone who was just trying to get a shot so I can be pain-free and then not do anything. And, he is partially right.  It's hard to do stuff when doing that stuff hurts. 
I haven't been stretching as thoroughly or as often lately, so when I got settled into work, I hid in my back "lab" area and stretched and stretched.  My back and my hips.  Then, I tried a few lunges and to my surprise, it didn't hurt my knee or hip.  So I did some squats.  Despite my knee being more swollen lately, I was able to go deeper than I have since the surgery (nearly a year ago) AND NO PAIN!  I did a second set of squats, and when I took a step afterword, several pops and cracks and all of the sudden, my hip felt 100% NORMAL!  I walked back and forth several times to be sure it wasn't a fluke and tears sprang to my eyes when I was certain it was not.  I am walking like a normal person for about the first time in a year!!! (3 years, if you count the knee stuff).  I don't have people looking at me weird or asking what happened.  I sure hope this lasts, and I really hope I can continue doing squats and lunges without knee pain.  So who is unstoppable now?  
I should be getting my garcinia cambogia tomorrow, and my eye cream I bought last week seems to be working well already.  I am having an awesome day.  I hope you are too!

Friday, March 7, 2014

Tastes Like Donuts

Yesterday I was having a craving for donuts in the morning.  This is nothing unusual, especially since my morning routine often involves rushing through my neighborhood grocery to grab the things we are running low on or I forgot to get on my main grocery trip.  Please tell me I'm not the only one that has to do this!  Anyway, the grocery store makes donuts so whenever I go in there it just smells cravable.  I went through a long period, not too long ago, of not even trying to fight my desire to sink my teeth into their soft, sugary, deep fried bliss.  It is part if the cause of my regain.  And the more I caved to them, the more I wanted them.  This grocery has packaged sugar-covered jelly donuts, and sometimes they are so fresh that the sugar is partially melted into a sticky wonderland.  That is what I was thinking of when I walked through the store, past those beautiful little goblins and picked up household stuff we needed.  I am learning about a certain need of mine, to make things feel "special", and I was wanting something special because I wasn't going to give into those donuts.  So when my grocery list brought me down the health and beauty aisle, I stopped to see what they had for eye cream, because my wrinkles has sprung up seemingly overnight, and multiplied like tiny youth-stealing ninjas!  I got some eye cream and a new supply of facial moisturizer and felt good.  Then, right before checking out I grabbed a Starbucks Refreshers drink, the ones made out of green coffee.  Now it felt special.  
What happened next was a bit magical!  I cracked open my raspberry pomegranate flavored drink and it actually tasted a little like the filling of a jelly donut!  At only 60 calories, and 20g of carbs ( it is sweetened with stevia but has natural juices) it is a huge victory.  Plus, the green coffee and ginseng give me a little energy boost, and green coffe is touted as a weight loss tool.  They are too pricey and a little carb heavy for every day use, but it does feel like a treat for every once in a while.  And, way better for my health and waistline than a jelly donut!  
Hope your week was sweet!  Happy Friday!

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Watch What You Say to the Cranky Fat Girl

After a very successful week last week, this week was a little flat.  I felt like I was rushed and spread too thin, and tired.  It didn't help that my March 1st weigh-in had a number still dangling before me, 189, only 4 pounds lost in an entire month of trying.  I meant to take my measurements, sure that they would reassure me that this isn't as hard as I am making it out to be.  Getting up before 5am, trying to move a seemingly-perpetually tired and sore body, constantly thinking about what and how and when and WHY I'm eating...I know, woe is me!  It used to be easier to lose weight.  It used to hurt a lot less to walk and dance.  And do squats.  And I feel like the minute I don't do these things, I immediately gain weight and get old, stiff and unhealthy.  
I didn't get to measurements last weekend, I had one son with stomach flu, which left me more sleep-deprived than I've been in years, and another with ADHD who broke his iPod Touch, his most prized possession.  So between being elbow deep in disgusting clean up duty, I also had to search through a see of papers to try and find receipts for warranty repairs.  Oh, not to mention, write a paper and take an exam.  This week has been the opposite of the others, partly due to my feeling that I needed to catch up on sleep, partly because my hormones are getting ready for their next performance, and part because one of my sons accidentally fell into the knee I had surgery on not quite a year ago, and it has been swollen and irritated which means I am favoring that leg, putting more stress in that stupidly sore hip!  It truly sucks getting old!  
I think I might have been fine with my food choices, but on Monday, one of my labs sent me a box of Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies.  I ate the entire box within two days.  And I ate some chocolate chips one night.  Not evil, not diet-ending, but not productive.  I caved way too easily to those damn cookies, even though I'm not really a cookie person.  
So last night, before bed, I was on Facebook, and every other post is one of these "recommended" posts which are really ads.  Honestly, just how photoshopped can Oprah get before the sheep realize it's not real?!  I haven't put much stock in these ads for garcinia cambogia because I figured, if they have to photoshop the bejesus out of their supposed success stories, how effective can it really be?  Plus, trying to find anyone seriously writing about the pros and cons without trying to sell you some is tough.  But this morning, I had my aha moment ( not the biggest Oprah fan, yet she appears again).  I looked at the always brutally-honest reviews on Amazon.  Truly, all of the products I had time to glance at all had 4 or 5 stars and a bunch of positive reviews.  After a little research, I am thinking I have nothing to lose (sorry, intended).  It is made from the rind of a fruit, so it's natural.  It interferes with the process that turns excess carbs into fat, helps curb cravings, and, because it has an effect on seratonin levels, ( which are "feel good" hormones) it makes you feel happier and sleep better.  All good things.  I will probably either order some from Amazon or see if I can find some locally to try.  It is supposed to help you loose 2-4 pounds a month without changing anything, but it's effects increase 200% or more if you add diet and exercise.  From the reviews, it sounded like something that makes it easier to stay on your diet and feel good doing it.  So I have to try it.  The older I get, the harder this is getting to make a difference, I feel like I'm fighting against hormones way too much.  I hate being so irritable, too.  If this is perimenopause, I shutter to think what the real deal will be like!  
I will take more measurements before I start on it and keep you posted.  I am a little excited about this again.  Maybe a little help is just enough of a push to get this old body up the hill.
So happy tomorrow's Friday!  Hope your week went smoothly!