Rocking On and the Island
Every year, my husband and I like to take a weekend to go to our favorite little island at the tip of Wisconsin, Washington Island. It is the most laid-back, unplugged place. I mean, all weekend long we were drenched in sweat because only 1 of the places we went on the island had air conditioning. It becomes exponentially more expensive to ferry someone in to hook things up and service the units, so most places simply don't have it. And, there aren't that many days of the year that we Wisconsinites need A/C. Anyway, my husband and I are charmed to pieces with the place, and we begin looking forward to our escape before winter even hits.
This time, because I wanted my thyroid checked and didn't want to wait, I established care with a doctor who does not belong to the clinic I work for. She was everything about what makes us intimidated by doctors, so cold and abrasive. She made a snap judgement about me and my weight and without asking any questions about my diet or exercise habbits, told me I need to not eat so many chips and sugary snacks and need to start exercising and go on a 1,400 calorie a day diet. She did not address my concerns about my joints aching ( which, with thyroid could be Hashimoto's) or that my toes turn white in winter (Joint aches could be from Rhuematoid Arthritis, also associated with the white toes). Nope, she just looked at me and decided I am fat and lazy and wouldn't let me speak for fear her next drive-by appointment would run late. She put me on a diuretic to help lower my blood pressure, but assured me that it will be a temporary medicine while I work on my restrictive diet. At one point, she began to ask me if I get any exercise and I was about to answer that I walk my dog daily and swim but she didn't even let me say it before talking over me, "You really need to start taking this more seriously." UGH! It took me a while to talk myself down after that appointment. My initial reaction was one of anger, defense, and hurt. Now, is she right that I do eat junk? Yes, but not all day every day. Is she right that I don't exercise enough? Yes, but I do put on 10,000 steps on my FitBit nearly every day. With aching joints, that feels like all I can take. She would not listen to any type of reasoning and just spouted off all the different activities there are that I could choose from, to pick one that doesn't bother me, and to (not in so many words) stop making excuses. It makes me wonder, does anyone really get inspired by someone else treating them that way? If so, I am not that type of person.
For reference, I had my last dentist appointment today and am now just on regular cleanings twice a year (YaY!!!!) and my dentist and his staff are all young and happy people. When I was done, the assistant gave me a hug and said she's going to miss our little talks. They are just very welcoming and caring. Now, as I pulled away, knowing my dental cleaning appointment is in November I was thinking, they would all get a kick out of it if I lost a bunch of weight before my next appointment. Those warm people are who I want to impress, not some cold, abrasive snob in white leather stilettos (how inappropriate for a doctor's office).
Anyway, I have been through a whole slew of emotions and thoughts about the whole thing. During my getaway we drank a lot of alcohol and ate all kinds of stuff. I even found myself being less concerned with timing of my medicine and food. Part of me just really let it all go, somewhat as a way of rebelling against the mean lady doctor, but in some respects I think I knew that she was right (even though she picked a horrible way to present it) I do need to get more serious about this. So that has been established. Years ago I suppose. Now the conundrum is, how to fix the food thing without triggering the brain. I will say, even though I do eat meat sometimes, I don't really love it. I have been wanting to try a keto diet but I just read a massive report this morning that showed the only factor in carbs, fat and protein that makes a person gain weight consistently over the years is FAT. There are a lot of varibles, yes, but if it's true, keto wouldn't be the best option. Maybe I will do a lower carb thing but with less focus on fats. I hate even these preliminary feelings that I have to overthink things, be so careful, remove all joy from eating. That's how I feel, and I am pouting inside thinking of it. More to come on all of that, I'm sure. This week I am not really prepared to do anything, grocery shopping was odd because I went Sunday evening after we returned from what turned out to be an exhausting trip. That means I just hit up the corner grocery store to try and make things work for this week. Lots less choices than the store I normally shop. So this week will be a week of thinking and planning.
Now to discuss nicer things. My trip, though exhausting, was wonderful. It included a sunset swim at our favorite crystal-clear beach, a quaint hotel that is so welcoming and charming with 5-star, farm-to-fork meals, catching a local calypso/reggae/blues/jazz band by serendiptiy while we ate at a hip, artsy place, trying out new places for a pint or two of beer, fries at our favorite burger stand, ridiculously good dinner at our hotel (it is all farmed by the owner, fresh, beautiful and pricier than any other place we typically go to eat), beautiful nature walks and discovering some new lookout places, and a grueling hike on Rock Island, a smaller island off the tip of Washington Island. It is a state park and there really isn't much to do there other than hike. The day we did it was in the 80's with 95% humidity and the hardly a cloud in the sky. Oh, and there are so many hills I felt like I was climbing mountains! We hiked for nearly 2 hours straight up and down the dang hills. I was so focused on not tripping on tree roots and rocks imbedded in the ground that I couldn't really appreciate the beauty around me as much as if I were casually strolling in a wooded area in nicer weather. It was a challenge, but luckily my joints were up for it and while I am still sore 2 days later, I did that and it wasnt easy so I felt pretty good about myself. My FitBit said I took nearly 18,000 steps that day. It was even too damn hot to worry about covering up my arms. I waved them around like a victory flag and I sure was happy that I have a tank top that fits so I didn't have to be any more hot than I was that day! It aint pretty, but it aint supposed to be!
The weekend ended on a bit of a sour note with a bit of a family rift going on behind the scenes, but we still got our time away to rejuvenate, and just be together without all the distractions and responsibilities that engulf us every day. I do feel refreshed, and I do think now is as good a time as any to start putting the work I've been doing on my emotional strengthening and smoothing to work. I have to take the leap sometime. I know I have to eat better, my body is now starting to give me warning signs. I think it was Life Coach School site that I was looking at today (I am not a member and cannot endorse it) and I saw something that said to take care of yourself as if you were someone you were responsible for taking care of. A lot to think about!
Long post! Thanks for letting me vent and think through things!
This time, because I wanted my thyroid checked and didn't want to wait, I established care with a doctor who does not belong to the clinic I work for. She was everything about what makes us intimidated by doctors, so cold and abrasive. She made a snap judgement about me and my weight and without asking any questions about my diet or exercise habbits, told me I need to not eat so many chips and sugary snacks and need to start exercising and go on a 1,400 calorie a day diet. She did not address my concerns about my joints aching ( which, with thyroid could be Hashimoto's) or that my toes turn white in winter (Joint aches could be from Rhuematoid Arthritis, also associated with the white toes). Nope, she just looked at me and decided I am fat and lazy and wouldn't let me speak for fear her next drive-by appointment would run late. She put me on a diuretic to help lower my blood pressure, but assured me that it will be a temporary medicine while I work on my restrictive diet. At one point, she began to ask me if I get any exercise and I was about to answer that I walk my dog daily and swim but she didn't even let me say it before talking over me, "You really need to start taking this more seriously." UGH! It took me a while to talk myself down after that appointment. My initial reaction was one of anger, defense, and hurt. Now, is she right that I do eat junk? Yes, but not all day every day. Is she right that I don't exercise enough? Yes, but I do put on 10,000 steps on my FitBit nearly every day. With aching joints, that feels like all I can take. She would not listen to any type of reasoning and just spouted off all the different activities there are that I could choose from, to pick one that doesn't bother me, and to (not in so many words) stop making excuses. It makes me wonder, does anyone really get inspired by someone else treating them that way? If so, I am not that type of person.
For reference, I had my last dentist appointment today and am now just on regular cleanings twice a year (YaY!!!!) and my dentist and his staff are all young and happy people. When I was done, the assistant gave me a hug and said she's going to miss our little talks. They are just very welcoming and caring. Now, as I pulled away, knowing my dental cleaning appointment is in November I was thinking, they would all get a kick out of it if I lost a bunch of weight before my next appointment. Those warm people are who I want to impress, not some cold, abrasive snob in white leather stilettos (how inappropriate for a doctor's office).
Anyway, I have been through a whole slew of emotions and thoughts about the whole thing. During my getaway we drank a lot of alcohol and ate all kinds of stuff. I even found myself being less concerned with timing of my medicine and food. Part of me just really let it all go, somewhat as a way of rebelling against the mean lady doctor, but in some respects I think I knew that she was right (even though she picked a horrible way to present it) I do need to get more serious about this. So that has been established. Years ago I suppose. Now the conundrum is, how to fix the food thing without triggering the brain. I will say, even though I do eat meat sometimes, I don't really love it. I have been wanting to try a keto diet but I just read a massive report this morning that showed the only factor in carbs, fat and protein that makes a person gain weight consistently over the years is FAT. There are a lot of varibles, yes, but if it's true, keto wouldn't be the best option. Maybe I will do a lower carb thing but with less focus on fats. I hate even these preliminary feelings that I have to overthink things, be so careful, remove all joy from eating. That's how I feel, and I am pouting inside thinking of it. More to come on all of that, I'm sure. This week I am not really prepared to do anything, grocery shopping was odd because I went Sunday evening after we returned from what turned out to be an exhausting trip. That means I just hit up the corner grocery store to try and make things work for this week. Lots less choices than the store I normally shop. So this week will be a week of thinking and planning.
Now to discuss nicer things. My trip, though exhausting, was wonderful. It included a sunset swim at our favorite crystal-clear beach, a quaint hotel that is so welcoming and charming with 5-star, farm-to-fork meals, catching a local calypso/reggae/blues/jazz band by serendiptiy while we ate at a hip, artsy place, trying out new places for a pint or two of beer, fries at our favorite burger stand, ridiculously good dinner at our hotel (it is all farmed by the owner, fresh, beautiful and pricier than any other place we typically go to eat), beautiful nature walks and discovering some new lookout places, and a grueling hike on Rock Island, a smaller island off the tip of Washington Island. It is a state park and there really isn't much to do there other than hike. The day we did it was in the 80's with 95% humidity and the hardly a cloud in the sky. Oh, and there are so many hills I felt like I was climbing mountains! We hiked for nearly 2 hours straight up and down the dang hills. I was so focused on not tripping on tree roots and rocks imbedded in the ground that I couldn't really appreciate the beauty around me as much as if I were casually strolling in a wooded area in nicer weather. It was a challenge, but luckily my joints were up for it and while I am still sore 2 days later, I did that and it wasnt easy so I felt pretty good about myself. My FitBit said I took nearly 18,000 steps that day. It was even too damn hot to worry about covering up my arms. I waved them around like a victory flag and I sure was happy that I have a tank top that fits so I didn't have to be any more hot than I was that day! It aint pretty, but it aint supposed to be!
The weekend ended on a bit of a sour note with a bit of a family rift going on behind the scenes, but we still got our time away to rejuvenate, and just be together without all the distractions and responsibilities that engulf us every day. I do feel refreshed, and I do think now is as good a time as any to start putting the work I've been doing on my emotional strengthening and smoothing to work. I have to take the leap sometime. I know I have to eat better, my body is now starting to give me warning signs. I think it was Life Coach School site that I was looking at today (I am not a member and cannot endorse it) and I saw something that said to take care of yourself as if you were someone you were responsible for taking care of. A lot to think about!
Long post! Thanks for letting me vent and think through things!
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