Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Seek

Today when my alarm went off at 4:20am, it startled me awake.  I rolled out of bed and on the way to the bathroom I was thinking about my obstacles for working out today and considering the idea of going back to bed.  I stayed up, though.  My obstacles were that my husband was sleeping in the bedroom so dancing in there was out of the question, it is 12 degrees below zero with the windchill, so going for a walk was out of the question, and my son was sleeping inches away from the stationary bike, so trying to weasle my way onto the bike and use it without waking him up was also out of the question.  I opted for some yoga in the living room, quiet enough to not wake my son.  He sleeps in the living room whenever he finds his room too cold or creepy.  Sigh.  So I compromised, but still got something done.  The particular session I did today is for opening the hips, a lesson I definitely could use daily.  It moves sort of fast, but there isn't anything so challenging that I can't do it so it ended up being a nice way to start the day.  I'll admit, it didn't wake me up the way cardio does, and I wasn't all sweaty and happy, but it was still working on something I want to maintain in the long run, flexibility.  So win-win.  Depending on how much homework the kids have tonight, and how tired I am after work, I may put a little time in on the bike tonight.  I make no promises!  I still have yet to add any strength training into my repetoir, and I know I need to, but right now my legs are already getting sore from the forms of cardio I'm doing.  At some point I will add strength, focusing on my core. 
So my message from last night is "idea" vs reality.  My husband had a retirement dinner for a coworker to attend, so I tended to my normal "mom" duties of taking the dog out, helping with homework and cooking dinner.  Surprisingly, I had a nice chunk of free time afterword, so I took a hot soak in the tub. I imagined pampering myself with a facial and nails and thick body butter, then watching a funny show and eating some popcorn.  I did all of the above except the last 2 things.  Oh I could have had some popcorn and watched a show, they both sound really indulgent and relaxing.  Then I began to tear apart my thinking.  For once, it was nice and quiet in the house (nothing to do with my husband being gone, just happened to be that way).  I wasn't hungry, but the thought of doing those things equated to sheer relaxation and comfort to me.  Was I bothered, deep down somewhere, that my husband wasn't home?  Not consciously.  I started to think about the last time I ate popcorn (on Sunday) and how it took me a couple hours to get through the bag because I got "salted-out" early on and kept choking on the hulls.  So, I did not eat popcorn and I did not watch a show.  I enjoyed the quiet, and the unsalty, un-hully (like my new word) mouth and relaxed.  It felt good to pamper myself and I didn't end up taking in calories I don't need and won't burn while I'm sleeping.  It was the idea of doing those things that sounded good, and I have acted without giving it a second thought in the past, but this time I decided not to act by rote.  I'm not saying I'll never eat things that are counterproductive to my health, that's not a normal fringe to live on.  Ideal, yes, but not normal.  I do think that the human body can be normal and healthy without being on some extreme fringe.  It's the Middle Path, the balance between two extremes, and I think it is where most people can find some peace.   The best part is that, I believe those who seek, and keep seeking will eventually find their way to that path.  I wish it for all seekers. 



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