Sad Hot Mess
Summer is winding down now, isn't it? It's strange how I tend to dread the change, as if I am losing something precious, but this was such a hot, humid summer that I found myself looking forward to cool fall days. The past week has continued to be very hot and humid, and the mosquitos have been absolutely loving it as they get their last few feeding frenzies in. They absolutely love me and I am loaded with new mosquito bites, which is quite new for me at this time of year.
I'm not complaining, I'll take sunshine and jacket-free days as long as they keep coming. But it sure does do a number on my brain. My body was all geared up for warm foods and sipping hot tea from my favorite mug, reading a book under a blanket, perhaps. It makes me feel a little off, like something is missing or wrong. I do tend to equate the cooler temperatures with comfort food and maybe that's why I also dread the putting on of fall and winter clothes, the long sleeved shirts, bulky sweaters and (UGH) long pants. I am not a fan of pants because I am oddly shaped and find it pretty much impossible to find pants that flatter me. I also feel way more feminine in long flowing skirts.
But I digress. Pants or skirts, cold or warm, none of it should relate to food or happiness or massive mood changes. Still, I feel like I've slowed down, in a way, in anticipation of the slow coming fall, and that has some habitual moods and habits attached that I need to keep my eye on. So much of the coming months (and their holidays) revolves around food/alcohol. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years; maybe I have used that as a consolation for the fact that I have to suffer through winter and I really dislike winter. I'm pouting about having to go through stuff I don't like.
Still, I must say that, I have been handling the kids' school schedule with more grace and ease than I anticipated. Mornings have to be planned and executed better, but evenings are pretty easy-pased still. My boys are getting old enough where I don't necessarily have to be lording over them while they do their homework now. Plus, this district doesn't give much homework. Still, the planning and sticking to a schedule is working OK for me right now. And, can I tell you, weekends feel way more special now that the kids are in school. I love the slower pace!
After my first full week of chiropractic treatment, I am noticing some small changes in my hips, they are popping less and things feel like they are staying in place a little better. I still have miles to go, but I feel like this is going to make a lot of improvement in all my little aches and pains in my lower body. The adjustments don't hurt anymore like the first one (a bruised feeling, that's all) and I was hoping he would tell me I can start strength training, but I think it's going to be a few more weeks for that. My thought behind the desire was that I want to start looking better because I feel like my weight loss stagnated even though I have been keeping things pretty controlled, even over the weekend. To help combat those thoughts, I took my blood pressure today and was happy that it has settled down to 124/80. That reminded me why I started trying to clean things up in the first place. It was a nice little lift of my mood on a Monday morning, maybe even better than losing a few pounds. Weighing less doesn't really matter if your heart is a ticking timebomb. So this is all good news!
Now, I feel it, I need to put a little more focus on my brain and the thoughts lingering in the corner somewhere because I feel like I am letting old habitual thoughts about body image creep in. Something feels like it needs further reflection; my ghost of my childhood past are hanging around the fringes ready to rough me around some. And maybe it's the slight tinge of falltime sadness that allows the bullies to work their way in, so that I get to a low point where food is my comfort. I think I need to reclaim fall; take back the blues and turn it into a really positive season for change and growth. I got a brand new Fitbit watch so I can track my activity better, my hips are starting to come around, but until then I can still use my stationary bike, and my blood pressure is going the right direction. Maybe I can make a goal of being able to get off blood pressure medicine by the time of my next physical exam in April. That would be something good to work toward. And before Halloween I should get the OK to start strength training, that will make me feel so good. As I get stronger I will also have less aches because my joints will be better supported, so being more active won't be such a chore/regret. All good things! And long term, I will be supporting my goal of staying mobile and independent well into old age. What more could I ask for? Maybe some apple cinnamon tea in my favorite mug, but not much else! Bring on fall!
I'm not complaining, I'll take sunshine and jacket-free days as long as they keep coming. But it sure does do a number on my brain. My body was all geared up for warm foods and sipping hot tea from my favorite mug, reading a book under a blanket, perhaps. It makes me feel a little off, like something is missing or wrong. I do tend to equate the cooler temperatures with comfort food and maybe that's why I also dread the putting on of fall and winter clothes, the long sleeved shirts, bulky sweaters and (UGH) long pants. I am not a fan of pants because I am oddly shaped and find it pretty much impossible to find pants that flatter me. I also feel way more feminine in long flowing skirts.
But I digress. Pants or skirts, cold or warm, none of it should relate to food or happiness or massive mood changes. Still, I feel like I've slowed down, in a way, in anticipation of the slow coming fall, and that has some habitual moods and habits attached that I need to keep my eye on. So much of the coming months (and their holidays) revolves around food/alcohol. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years; maybe I have used that as a consolation for the fact that I have to suffer through winter and I really dislike winter. I'm pouting about having to go through stuff I don't like.
Still, I must say that, I have been handling the kids' school schedule with more grace and ease than I anticipated. Mornings have to be planned and executed better, but evenings are pretty easy-pased still. My boys are getting old enough where I don't necessarily have to be lording over them while they do their homework now. Plus, this district doesn't give much homework. Still, the planning and sticking to a schedule is working OK for me right now. And, can I tell you, weekends feel way more special now that the kids are in school. I love the slower pace!
After my first full week of chiropractic treatment, I am noticing some small changes in my hips, they are popping less and things feel like they are staying in place a little better. I still have miles to go, but I feel like this is going to make a lot of improvement in all my little aches and pains in my lower body. The adjustments don't hurt anymore like the first one (a bruised feeling, that's all) and I was hoping he would tell me I can start strength training, but I think it's going to be a few more weeks for that. My thought behind the desire was that I want to start looking better because I feel like my weight loss stagnated even though I have been keeping things pretty controlled, even over the weekend. To help combat those thoughts, I took my blood pressure today and was happy that it has settled down to 124/80. That reminded me why I started trying to clean things up in the first place. It was a nice little lift of my mood on a Monday morning, maybe even better than losing a few pounds. Weighing less doesn't really matter if your heart is a ticking timebomb. So this is all good news!
Now, I feel it, I need to put a little more focus on my brain and the thoughts lingering in the corner somewhere because I feel like I am letting old habitual thoughts about body image creep in. Something feels like it needs further reflection; my ghost of my childhood past are hanging around the fringes ready to rough me around some. And maybe it's the slight tinge of falltime sadness that allows the bullies to work their way in, so that I get to a low point where food is my comfort. I think I need to reclaim fall; take back the blues and turn it into a really positive season for change and growth. I got a brand new Fitbit watch so I can track my activity better, my hips are starting to come around, but until then I can still use my stationary bike, and my blood pressure is going the right direction. Maybe I can make a goal of being able to get off blood pressure medicine by the time of my next physical exam in April. That would be something good to work toward. And before Halloween I should get the OK to start strength training, that will make me feel so good. As I get stronger I will also have less aches because my joints will be better supported, so being more active won't be such a chore/regret. All good things! And long term, I will be supporting my goal of staying mobile and independent well into old age. What more could I ask for? Maybe some apple cinnamon tea in my favorite mug, but not much else! Bring on fall!
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