Looking Down and Forward
I have been feeling like I am losing weight lately, so I finally broke down and weighed myself. When I first went on blood pressure medicine mid-July, I weighed just shy of 201 pounds. Today I am 188 with shoes on. I have resisted weighing because it can play with my emotions. In the past when I weighed every day (and in many cases, several times a day) it could really put me in a terrible mood if it wasn't what I wanted to see on the scale. Sometimes I was even doing two workouts a day and the scale wouldn't budge and I would just want to give up and eat junk because I felt it just shouldn't be that hard to get the scale to move. But I guess I can see some benefit to weighing in weekly or biweekly, to see if there is any progress. Right now I am not really exercising. I make excuses and I know that's what they are. I would have to get up early or do it after work. Either one could potentially work and I know it would make me feel good. I am just lazy. And busy, for real. But if I made it a priority it could be done.
188 seems pretty standard for me. I think this is the weight that I have been at for a huge majority of my adult life. Higher,(226 at my highest) lower (152 my lowest), and holding steady at 185-189 ish. I feel like it's a set point for me, but not necessarily one I want to remain at indefinitely.
As I lose little by little, my shoulders and collar bone are getting more defined, and it looks like my arms are getting more giggly all the time. I try to focus my attention on my shoulders because I love the look of strong shoulders. I pose in the mirror, positioning myself in a way that makes me arms and shoulders look strong and healhty, and I see great potential. Even if the skin is always giggly, it probably will be, I can still have well-defined upper arms and shoulders to take the attention off all that other stuff, and when/if that happens, I will wear that loose skin as a badge of honor from what I overcame. I like to think I will, at least!
Thinking about being more active is inticing to me, making the time to do it is a whole other beast. But maybe I will start slowly with 3 times a week and build up my activity level. I will talk to my chiropractor on Monday and get his advice. The last thing I want to do is make his manipulations harder or risk my back going the wrong direction, or train the wrong thing the wrong way. I don't want to undermine the treatments I am paying for, I am just eager to have less pain and I know my various weaknesses are contributing.
So I will plan to start with some cardio this weekend. Getting back on the bike should feel good. I have no excuse not to, it will just take some persistence. I will see how next week goes depending on what the chiropractor says. My husband's alarm goes off at 4:15 am and right now I have been getting up at 5 am which still makes mornings a little tight for time, but it works. Getting up at 4:30 wouldn't be that much harder. It would make me feel awake and good before going to work. I have done that before, when I was super committed, and it was a great feeling, but then I started telling myself I needed more sleep and haven't gotten up early to work out in years! That being said, I could probably take a 15minute power nap on my lunch breaks if I really needed to. I'm yawning as I type that.
So getting these thoughts in my mind and getting started this weekend feels like positive steps forward for me. I won't start feeling better until I work on it, and that is going to equate to some sweat-equity. I think I'm ready. Kind of.
188 seems pretty standard for me. I think this is the weight that I have been at for a huge majority of my adult life. Higher,(226 at my highest) lower (152 my lowest), and holding steady at 185-189 ish. I feel like it's a set point for me, but not necessarily one I want to remain at indefinitely.
As I lose little by little, my shoulders and collar bone are getting more defined, and it looks like my arms are getting more giggly all the time. I try to focus my attention on my shoulders because I love the look of strong shoulders. I pose in the mirror, positioning myself in a way that makes me arms and shoulders look strong and healhty, and I see great potential. Even if the skin is always giggly, it probably will be, I can still have well-defined upper arms and shoulders to take the attention off all that other stuff, and when/if that happens, I will wear that loose skin as a badge of honor from what I overcame. I like to think I will, at least!
Thinking about being more active is inticing to me, making the time to do it is a whole other beast. But maybe I will start slowly with 3 times a week and build up my activity level. I will talk to my chiropractor on Monday and get his advice. The last thing I want to do is make his manipulations harder or risk my back going the wrong direction, or train the wrong thing the wrong way. I don't want to undermine the treatments I am paying for, I am just eager to have less pain and I know my various weaknesses are contributing.
So I will plan to start with some cardio this weekend. Getting back on the bike should feel good. I have no excuse not to, it will just take some persistence. I will see how next week goes depending on what the chiropractor says. My husband's alarm goes off at 4:15 am and right now I have been getting up at 5 am which still makes mornings a little tight for time, but it works. Getting up at 4:30 wouldn't be that much harder. It would make me feel awake and good before going to work. I have done that before, when I was super committed, and it was a great feeling, but then I started telling myself I needed more sleep and haven't gotten up early to work out in years! That being said, I could probably take a 15minute power nap on my lunch breaks if I really needed to. I'm yawning as I type that.
So getting these thoughts in my mind and getting started this weekend feels like positive steps forward for me. I won't start feeling better until I work on it, and that is going to equate to some sweat-equity. I think I'm ready. Kind of.
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| I do not own the rights to this photo. Lifegoals though. |
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