Feed Me!

Seriously, do PMS symptoms just get worse and worse the closer you get to menopause?  I spent most of last week feeling like I needed to just have an all-out binge.  Christmas gifts of high-end chocolate started coming in from vendors and people in the office were bringing in donuts and at home there were oh so many choices of chips, and I sure had a Diet Coke both Saturday and Sunday; I had an entire bag of microwave popcorn last night as my "dinner".  I ate a lot of snacks, even when I wasn't hungry and almost to the point of uncomfortably full.  I just felt like food had abducted me and wasn't relenting.  Granted, I stayed active all weekend, not necessarily planned exercise but with lots of housework that had me sweaty and left my back sore.  It counts in my book because the alternative was to sit around on my phone eating myself into a quiet coma.  Plus, my house looks good for once, which makes my mind feel better.  Win-win.  And, while I was cleaning I wasn't eating. 
Still, today I feel like there is a physical hunger that is hard to satiate.  I ate a clean breakfast, snack and lunch, and found my stomach growling 2 and a half hours later.  Maybe it's the gentle switch.  I just need this dang period to start so I can regain my sanity for a couple weeks.  I also didn't try really hard to take the reins, I just felt so worn out and somehow thought intaking hundreds of unneccesary calories would fix that. 
The other major discovery I made this weekend is that my Fitbit Versa watch isn't very accurate.  Or at least, it is conditional.  While holding my arm up so I could look at my watch while I walked back and forth 30 steps, it registered nothing.  No steps counted, no activity, nada.  My son told me (he is very tech savvy) it tracks both by distance and by the movement of your arms swinging.  Duh!  But, I don't always swing my arms when I walk, especially if I'm not walking at a brisk pace, or carrying something, which is more frequently than I ever realized,  While I'm walking the dog I have his leash so tight because he flips out over the tiniest blade of grass wavering in the breeze.  At work, I am often carrying papers, or trays, walking to the fax, walking back and forth between the lab area...it makes sense that before I got this watch, my hip-mounted FitBit Zip very rarely had me at under 10,000 steps a day but the Versa now shows me only taking an average of about 8,000 steps a day.  I am going to be more aware of this and start swinging my arms more.  I will swing them like a fool!  Nothing is perfect, I get that, but it makes me wonder how accurate this (and other watches) are.  Not that it really matters now, but if I were to set a step-goal for myself I would feel gyped if some of the steps were not registering.
Anyway, I guess I don't have much to say today.  I don't have anything figured out.  I let my hormones get the best of me this month but I think I should have it licked now.  I am right now craving salty tortilla chips but I have a dinner all planned and I am sure once I'm eating I will forget all about those chips.  All of this makes me think about how fine a line it is between being disciplined with food choices and being "off duty".  There must be a balance somewhere and I am hoping to find where that lies.  Sometime before I croak, preferably.


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