Crossroads
Last night I did what I said I was going to do. I ate what I wanted ( a turkey sandwich on a toasted bagel), my son decided not to go to his archery club so I didn't have that task hanging over my head, so I sank into a warm bath and pampered myself with some lavendar bubble bath. I did all the things I don't usually save time for, including exfoliating my feet. When I was done, I painted my nails and spent some time on my phone, then snuggled my dog and I felt really nice by the end of the night. I put away my planning and to-do lists for one night and it felt amazing!
I almost didn't message my neighbor, almost, but I knew I couldn't make a huge proclaimation about standing up for myself and then come on here and say I didn't do it. I kept it neighborly and appologized that it's awkward to mention, but explained that we get such little sleep already and my husband works so so many hours that we really need to not be woken up that early. I'm sure she's not aware of how horribly built these places are and how loud that is for us. I feel much better now that I have said my piece, no matter what comes of it.
Mentally, I woke in a much better place today. I wish I knew what the magic key is because I don't like how I've been feeling lately, so irritable and stressed out. I am considering looking into a natural supplement to maybe help with mood, St. John's wart or something. I wouldn't start anything like that without research and talking to my doctor (to make sure it doesn't interfere with anything). And I certainly would want to supplement with some of the other mental health things I have been recognizing as necessary to my well-being. I will see how the rest of this month plays out. I do tent to sulk for the months of Nov-March, and depending how long winter sticks around, if it takes longer to warm up and stop snowing, April can be a bit of a downer too. My Happy Light helps, but I'd like to be proactive about it because I can't bring my Happy Light everywhere. Being stressed out all the time is raising my cortisol levels and that makes the weight even harder to get off.
Today was the first day in a while where my ankle wasn't immediately bothering me when I got out of bed, and yoga didn't bother it much either. Driving my stick shift bothered it (my clutch foot) so I may start wrapping it in an ace bandage before I leave the house in the morning. It's so odd how that seemed to crop up out of nowhere. I do hope it is just a sprain and not a deeper issue. It is swollen most of the day and night. I feel like I'm too young to have odd stuff like that happen. I probably twisted it and it didn't hurt at the time so I figured nothing happened.
Anyway. I'm grateful for the better mood and I'm really happy I stood up for myself even though it was awkward (and will be awkward whenever I see her). It's probably good that I did it today instead of yesterday when I was already really crabby and pissed off about it. LOL.
I was really bored with the same 5 moves over and over with the yoga this morning, but I did all 40 minutes. Today was day 24 so I am really looking forward to the end of this series. I just have to figure out what I will do next. Explore a different yoga instructor? Cardio instead? Make up my own yoga flow of moves I like and that challenge me? Since I am finally getting in the habit of getting up early I want to make the most of it.
The other thing I did differently today was I ate some Indian food for breakfast. There is a(packaged) rice dish that is just spicy enough for me (in an arromatic way, not a burn your tongue kind of way) that it made me feel so good. My nose was running and my body felt so awake. It made me think about trying to add more of that sort of thing into my menu. I tend to eat a lot of bland foods and I eat a good amount of dairy, which I have been thinking about cutting down on. I have also been feeling the pull to go back to a truly vegetarian diet but I do know that can be really challenging, especially when we go out to eat and I am limited to spaghetti or a usually hocky puck tasting veggie burger. It surely makes eating out a lot less enjoyable. I'm not ready to jump on any of those things but it makes me feel good to have some ideas about what I want in the future.
I'm not sure what is up but I am noticing that two pair of pants that I wore religiously last year (well, one is a pair of leggings and one is stretchy skinny jeans I bought at the end of the season) are fitting snug. I haven't been on the scale in quite a while and I have been letting Halloween candy creep into my diet. It's always hard for me this time of year, but I don't like how my leggings feel more snug than I remember. I do want to get a few new things to wear at work this fall/winter because I really only have a few things that I just keep rotating and I am so tired of them and don't especially feel that great about how they look, and that certainly affects my mood and self esteem too.
I'm not really sure what the message of this post is. Maybe there isn't one. Maybe it's just me on the verge of figuring out what my next step is, in a variety of areas of my life. Maybe that's just it, I am at a crossroads in so many areas of my life right now and I need to start making decisions so I can move one way or the other. It's not the most pleasant place to be, stuck somewhere in the middle of what was and what is yet to be decided, but I know from experience that these times usually end up producing results that are very rewarding.
I almost didn't message my neighbor, almost, but I knew I couldn't make a huge proclaimation about standing up for myself and then come on here and say I didn't do it. I kept it neighborly and appologized that it's awkward to mention, but explained that we get such little sleep already and my husband works so so many hours that we really need to not be woken up that early. I'm sure she's not aware of how horribly built these places are and how loud that is for us. I feel much better now that I have said my piece, no matter what comes of it.
Mentally, I woke in a much better place today. I wish I knew what the magic key is because I don't like how I've been feeling lately, so irritable and stressed out. I am considering looking into a natural supplement to maybe help with mood, St. John's wart or something. I wouldn't start anything like that without research and talking to my doctor (to make sure it doesn't interfere with anything). And I certainly would want to supplement with some of the other mental health things I have been recognizing as necessary to my well-being. I will see how the rest of this month plays out. I do tent to sulk for the months of Nov-March, and depending how long winter sticks around, if it takes longer to warm up and stop snowing, April can be a bit of a downer too. My Happy Light helps, but I'd like to be proactive about it because I can't bring my Happy Light everywhere. Being stressed out all the time is raising my cortisol levels and that makes the weight even harder to get off.
Today was the first day in a while where my ankle wasn't immediately bothering me when I got out of bed, and yoga didn't bother it much either. Driving my stick shift bothered it (my clutch foot) so I may start wrapping it in an ace bandage before I leave the house in the morning. It's so odd how that seemed to crop up out of nowhere. I do hope it is just a sprain and not a deeper issue. It is swollen most of the day and night. I feel like I'm too young to have odd stuff like that happen. I probably twisted it and it didn't hurt at the time so I figured nothing happened.
Anyway. I'm grateful for the better mood and I'm really happy I stood up for myself even though it was awkward (and will be awkward whenever I see her). It's probably good that I did it today instead of yesterday when I was already really crabby and pissed off about it. LOL.
I was really bored with the same 5 moves over and over with the yoga this morning, but I did all 40 minutes. Today was day 24 so I am really looking forward to the end of this series. I just have to figure out what I will do next. Explore a different yoga instructor? Cardio instead? Make up my own yoga flow of moves I like and that challenge me? Since I am finally getting in the habit of getting up early I want to make the most of it.
The other thing I did differently today was I ate some Indian food for breakfast. There is a(packaged) rice dish that is just spicy enough for me (in an arromatic way, not a burn your tongue kind of way) that it made me feel so good. My nose was running and my body felt so awake. It made me think about trying to add more of that sort of thing into my menu. I tend to eat a lot of bland foods and I eat a good amount of dairy, which I have been thinking about cutting down on. I have also been feeling the pull to go back to a truly vegetarian diet but I do know that can be really challenging, especially when we go out to eat and I am limited to spaghetti or a usually hocky puck tasting veggie burger. It surely makes eating out a lot less enjoyable. I'm not ready to jump on any of those things but it makes me feel good to have some ideas about what I want in the future.
I'm not sure what is up but I am noticing that two pair of pants that I wore religiously last year (well, one is a pair of leggings and one is stretchy skinny jeans I bought at the end of the season) are fitting snug. I haven't been on the scale in quite a while and I have been letting Halloween candy creep into my diet. It's always hard for me this time of year, but I don't like how my leggings feel more snug than I remember. I do want to get a few new things to wear at work this fall/winter because I really only have a few things that I just keep rotating and I am so tired of them and don't especially feel that great about how they look, and that certainly affects my mood and self esteem too.
I'm not really sure what the message of this post is. Maybe there isn't one. Maybe it's just me on the verge of figuring out what my next step is, in a variety of areas of my life. Maybe that's just it, I am at a crossroads in so many areas of my life right now and I need to start making decisions so I can move one way or the other. It's not the most pleasant place to be, stuck somewhere in the middle of what was and what is yet to be decided, but I know from experience that these times usually end up producing results that are very rewarding.
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