After worrying about what my MRI means, and wondering if I could have leukemia, and knowing there is no way I can wait 6 months to find out, my dr. ordered a blood test for me. I don't know if that is because he thinks it is possible or just to put my mind at ease, but this orthopedic surgeon is the only doctor I've been to that has taken me seriously. I told him I was concerned because cancer runs in my family, and he told his nurse a blood test couldn't hurt. I was thinking, do I really want a surgery if I have a blood problem? Then I felt comforted by the fact that he wouldn't have been talking about surgery if he truly thought I have cancer, and he would have mentioned blood tests when I was in the office too. A blood test will put my mind at ease, and then I will let it go. I am assuming I don't have cancer, but it does indeed run in my family. My dad lost both of his parents to it at an early age, and his brother too.
It has me thinking about the grand scheme of things, the reason some of these things are happening to me. You hear all the time, stories of people who go to the doctor for one thing only to discover something life-threatening lurking beneath the surface. They feel so grateful for the thing that caused them to go to the doctor. I was thinking of that with my knee, if I do have leukemia I will have caught it because of my bum knee. I had the bum knee because I ran without the proper training/form/shoes. I ran without those things because I felt like I had something to prove. I felt like I had something to prove because I had been trapped in obesity and its mindf*#k for most of my life. The same thing applies to my weight loss journey in general. I was just sick enough to need to go to a doctor to find out what was wrong. When I was diagnosed with high cholesterol, high blod pressure and pre-diabetes, it scared me enough to start making changes and I the changes I have made are so positive that I reversed those negative problems, and my blood pressure is stellar, even though I consume a moderate amount of caffeine. I think about my family history of heart disease, every one of my maternal grandparents have passed to either heart attack or stroke. Like 6 of them, that I know of. My mother has 8 brothers and sisters, all in their 50's and my uncle has already had a stroke. I am wondering about the rest of that side if the family, many if them overweight. Here's the point I'm trying to make, if I hadn't have been 'just sick enough' I would never have known that my blood was thick and sticky and just waiting to make me a statistic. I wouldn't have made the healthy changes that potentially saved or lengthened my life. I wouldn't have started running, the meniscus wouldn't have torn, I wouldn't have had the MRI that came up with medically unclear changes in my bone marrow.
I know it's a stretch to attribute all of these things to being obese for so long, but to me, it makes sense. I feel like I am being watched over, being led to have my health looked after whether I like going to the doctor or not. And all in all, I am in pretty good health for someone my age. I really truly believe its never too late to reverse some of the negative things we so to our bodies. The human body is amazing in its recuperative abilities. I know that no matter what the blood test shows, I am strong and able to fight for health, no matter how long it is before I get back in my feet after surgery, I am fierce in my will and I will make the best of it. To have a knee that works correctly will be a thing of beauty! Everything else is just details.