Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Clumsy Stunts and Noodles

I have been a little frustrated the past few days, in that my energy level seems to have hit an all-time low, and my mojo is MIA.  I am still putting in some work, but it is uninspired and half-hearted and it doesn't make me feel revitalized or give me the buzz I used to get from working out.  To make matters worse, I have been craving fat and sweets like a crazy woman, and it's not even the normal time for me to be craving that stuff.  I haven't been very successful at staying away from those things either, my fats usually coming from nuts or dairy-free cheese, or blue corn chips, and my sugars coming from fruits and agave nectar.  Granted, these are the healthiest versions of these unhealthy snacks, but I have been saying yes to my cravings way too much lately.  
Over the weekend, I stopped tracking.  As soon as we went to dinner at Noodles and Co on Friday night, and I knew it wouldn't be in my Fooducate app, I just stopped tracking.  Dinner was followed by what is quickly becoming our usual trip to the frozen yogurt shop.  What is in my head that decides this is a good idea?  Once in a while is one thing, but we've been having it way too much.  Oh sure, they have sugar-free, fat-free and even dairy-free versions of their yogurt, but I never choose them, I go for the flavors I like and just let the chips fall where they may.  I live in the moment, which isn't particularly beneficial when you are trying to achieve lasting health.
Saturday was the Celcom 5K, it's the last run I ever did, and all the hype in the city had me on edge and really emotional.  I couldn't sit around and do nothing, so I did a quick shoulder workout at home, and then I walked a 5K in my neighborhood.  It was therapeutic, and I realized that I can still do 5Ks, I just can't run them.  During my walk, I kept a really brisk pace, and I wondered how did I ever run this far?  I have lost a lot to this stupid knee injury, and I'm pretty disappointed and frustrated with how old/incompetent it makes me feel.
 After filling the house with top-notch groceries,  we decided to go to the National Railroad Museum in town, and while we were looking around, climbing on trains I had an accident of sorts.  I was trying to see the front of a train, iPhone extended to take a photo of my kids, and I didn't realize that there was a step down so I began to fall.  The leg that I didn't have surgery on was in front, bearing most of the weight, and I felt like my quad and glute muscles were about to tear, and I felt extreme pressure and pain in the knee that had surgery.  I tried to regain my composure before anyone other than my family saw me, but I was hiding some of that pain as we walked around for 3 hours more.  After we were done, it would have been a quick ten minute drive home and we could have made a perfect organic, non-GMO, vegan meal, but my husband asked who wanted to go out to eat and of course, a homemade meal simply wouldn't cut it with the kids after that was on the table.  We ended up back at Noodles and Co, because it is all vegan, and we can get organic tofu added to any order.  Personally, I am getting a little tired of always eating at the same place, it is making eating out a lot less of a treat.  After dinner, you guessed it, we went for frozen yogurt.  We have three such places in my city, and at least we chose a different one this time.  Of course it tastes good, but it is just sugar, fat and calories I don't need, and as I ate it that night I started to feel a little sad for what I was doing to my body.  I was thinking, as tired as I have been, it really sucks that I exerted myself just to throw those workouts away on wedding cake flavored sugar-junk.  Thankfully, Sunday was my husband's birthday, and his mom took him out to dinner all by himself, so the kids and I ate sanely that day.
I didn't get a lot of sleep before the alarm went off at 4:30 am on Monday, but I managed to slip out of bed and hit the gym.  I am not going to tell you it was easy, or that I had a stellar workout, but I showed up and I put in some work.  Yesterday, I took advantage of a little extra sleep and a day of rest, as my entire body was still sore and I needed to catch up on some sleep.  This morning I did another weight session.  I just don't have the fire I know I should have.  I keep thinking I can shake it off/up but I'm still waiting for that to happen.  I have noticed that my caffeine intake has decreased since my surgery, that may be part of the problem.  Last night my knee and heel were super irritated and I took a pain killer prescribed for after surgery, and for some reason, instead of making me mellow and amplifying my lack of energy, it took my pain away and made me feel energetic.  I got some housework done and still had energy to spare.  What a strange reaction.  I can see how people get addicted to these drugs.  I may do some research into natural ways to boost energy.  I need a little something.  I feel like I am constantly out of gas and going uphill.
Feeling positive about the changes I am making, still need to work on consistency and schedule, but I am finally getting some things going in the right direction.  It all starts with good intentions and making an effort.  I am there.  
I may participate in my city's March Against Monsanto this weekend, it is a cause I truly believe in.  Anyone else marching?
Hope your Wednesday is wicked-good!

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