Yesterday I let myself eat somewhat instinctively, allowing a morning snack that was higher in salt and fat than I normally eat, and a whole bunch of watermelon after work, and it turns out, I was still under my allowed calories, fat and carbs. Not that I am planning on doing that all the time, but it's nice to know that I can do it when I feel the need and not throw everything off-course. I was mindful of serving sizes and still kept tracking, though it was tempting not to. I am more aware of the urge to not track as a sign that I want to go off the rails. It usually happens when I am hungry, and since my hunger signals have changed, I need to be more aware of them right now.
Today I felt really tired, despite getting decent sleep, and every part of me wanted to take another day off. My legs were still stiff/sore, my eyes were gritty from allergies, and my knee was hurting for some reason. After dashing out into the rain to get my boys off to school, I came home and read some of my old blog posts. It was addictive reading them, some of them inspiring me more than I knew, and some of them making me regret not staying the course. I would have been so close to goal by now if I had continued. Ah well, can't be fixed now. After I pried myself away, I went to the gym for a quick back/biceps workout. The T-bar rows felt really good in my back, but still irritate my knee a little. I had mixed feelings about that. On one hand, I know I am high risk for re-injury, but at the same time, a lot of the things my physical therapist has me doing also irritate my knee slightly, so it must be safe. Actually, they smoothed out some splinters on my thigh and shin bone during the surgery too, and it was my shin bone that was irritated, just below the knee. At any rate, I did only two back moves and two biceps moves, and got out of the gym. I didn't have as much energy as I wished I did. Part of that is the music I think, when I was on my way to the gym, I was blasting some of my favorite songs, and I was in such a good place, mentally, but once I got in there, I discovered they painted the walls a dull grey color (they used to be so colorful) and it was sort of crowded with middle-aged men, it was generally quiet and the music was so boring and quiet. I need to invest in an armband so I can listen to my own music I think. So my big debut back to the gym lasted about 30 minutes, but then I came home and did my physical therapy, which is truly a full lower body workout in itself, complete with stationary lunges and something resembling a one-legged squat off a step. It kicked my behind, and I am going to be very sore tomorrow. Now that I am being made aware of some really weak areas of my body, I am suspecting my entire body is weak. I'm glad I have the tools now to fix what is broken. I imagine I will be able to increase my strength quite a bit if I am consistent.
When I came down with Shingles last fall, it made me re-examine my thoughts about health, and not just in a trivial way. Part of my new definition includes having a strong structure so as not to do damage to the surrounding joints, and eating for sustainable health and earth. It isn't about the short term anymore, or looking cute in an outfit, it has to be long-term.
I am starting to benefit from this way of thinking and living already. Due to the work I've been doing strengthening my hips, my sore hip is feeling so much better, and doing achiles and fascia stretches is helping my heel pain go away as well. It's a relief and a subtle reminder that if you take care of your body, it can do amazing things!
Looking forward to a relaxing weekend with my family. Hope yours goes well!