Monday, May 13, 2013

Positive Feels Good

The weekend was another great learning experience for me, and I found myself finally feeling some mental peace.  My husband was forced to work all weekend, which makes for early bedtimes and makes the weekend feel more serious and way less carefree than usual.  But I did some physical and mental housecleaning, and it turned out to be a nice weekend anyway.
Friday night we went to our new favorite restaurant, Noodles and Co.  We like it because it has a lot of variety, and you can substitute organic tofu on any dish.  The food is really good, it feels like a treat.  And my kids like eating healthy when it tastes this good!  I had some caffeine-free diet coke too, which really felt like a treat since I have been staying away from it due to all the horrific chemicals in it.  Right next door to the restaurant is Smart Cow, a frozen yogurt bar, with 24 different flavors of sorbet and frozen yogurt, and too many toppings to mention.  I got about half the yogurt I normally would have eaten and added one topping (pop rocks).  I battled with myself about it before getting it, we have gone through long stretches where a sweet treat after dinner was the tradition, but lately it's a 50-50 thing.  I knew I didn't need that sugar (it was fat free, but I'm sure it was completely loaded with sugar) and I hoped it wouldn't set off mad cravings.  But I gave in and had some.  C'est la vie.
Saturday, I spent nine hours spring cleaning in my house, cleaning out closets that haven't been cleaned in 3 years or more, and donating a whole heap of stuff.  It felt good to make some space and release some junk that had been congesting our living space.  It also made me very aware of how much more work I have to do.  Every cupboard, every closet, every room needs some serious organization and care.  It is not a mistake that this is also a metaphor for cleaning up my health.
Saturday night, we made our now-traditional family "healthy pizzas".  It starts with a whole grain tortilla, a little olive oil and some herbs, organic pasta sauce, a bunch of high-quality, organic greens and veggies, and a little non-dairy cheese.  When these babies come out of the oven, it smells divine!  And, as we keep tweaking the recipe, it comes closer and closer to tasting like Domino's Pacific Veggie pizza.  We all love pizza night, especially since it's new meaning is way healthier than what pizza night used to mean.  Sorry Domino's.  For an after-dinner treat, we had some Banana Babies, frozen bananas dipped in chocolate, on a stick.  Again, did I need the sugar? Nope.  I was especially vulnerable to the hormonal tides raging in me, but also, I need to break the habit of a post-dinner sweet, which my kids are getting all too accustomed to.  I didn't even like the taste of that thing, but I ate it.
Sunday was Mother's Day, and my husband worked again, so I spent the day with my boys, just hanging out and having a pleasant day.  They decided they wanted to "take me out to lunch" for Mother's day, so we ended up at Subway.  I could have eaten a veggie sub, or better yet, a salad, but what we had planned before we left the house, ended up falling apart when we got there, and we all ordered something different than we were planning.  I ate a turkey breast sub and had a bag of Doritos and a Diet Coke.  I was expecting to feel like I was really treating myself, but in actuality, I thought the turkey tasted like chemicals.  I asked my sons to taste it to see if they thought it tasted funny and they both said no.  I think my taste buds have just adapted to not tasting that stuff anymore.  It was another thing that I didn't particularly like the taste of, but ate anyway.  In hindsight, I should have taken the turkey off.  I ate well the rest of the day, but later in the night I had a natural coconut frozen fruit bar.  I was OK with the 9 grams of unnecessary sugars.  Sigh.
When I went back to enter something in my food log, and I looked through my day's eats, I felt aweful when I saw the sub and Doritos.  Everything else looked pretty good, at least within reason.  But it also makes me realize that this thing isn't about all-or-nothing all the time.  Moderation in everything, including moderation.  So I didn't beat myself up about it.  And tracking is also helping me stick to serving sizes, or at least be way more aware of them.  I wanted another fruit bar last night, but I was already over my carb limit for the day, so I skipped it.  Yes, it's just an app, but what it showed me is just how these things can add up over time.  Without tracking, there is no doubt in my mind that I would have had another pop without thinking about the rest of the day's content.  So it's good.  This is the longest I've stuck with tracking, and I've heard that people who track consistently and long-term usually have greater success staying on track.
This morning I weighed, just out of curiosity, despite having the extra stuff this weekend, and missing any form of exercise on Sunday, and I was happily surprised to see 175.  I'm definitely on the right track!  I spent 20 minutes interval training on a stationary bike, which felt good and didn't bother my knee at all.  I was sweaty after, but felt SO GOOD!  And I had an awesome physical therapy session today, mostly all of my flexibility is back and I am really just feeling great.  Finally I can MOVE again!  It's been a long tough battle with this knee, but I'm so glad I had the surgery.  My quality of life is so much better, and it feels so priceless to be positive again.  Tonight I go back to work, get my feet wet with 2 hour shifts this week.  I'm looking forward to easing back into things at a comfortable pace.
My week is surely starting off on a positive note, hope yours is too!

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