Handling it

 Usually when I don't blog for a bit, there's a pretty good chance it means I've gone off the rails, but I'm happy to say that is not the case this time.  I have been dealing with normal life-stuff, kids not doing well in school, changes in schedules, homework etc. 
 So as far as South Beach goes, I am doing great.  I feel better, physically, than I have in a long time.  I weighed in the first couple days and lost some weight, water weight, as I was so thirsty and flushed a lot of stuff out.  One of the main reasons I started this diet again is because I was feeling so miserable, bloated, constant heartburn, achy, no energy, sucking wind after climbing a flight of stairs.,, those things are getting much better.  So when I think longingly about the times when I ate whatever I wanted, I remind myself of how uncomfortable my stomach feels when I eat all those carbs all day.  Being vegetarian makes food tougher, I am not a huge fan of most vegetarian forms of protein like tofu, tempeh, veggie burgers etc.  and I am not an egg eater.  So I'm 
going to have to be a lot more creative in my food choices.  It didn't help that I started this diet so abruptly that I didn't plan well enough at the grocery store.  I'm making progress though.  
The best side effect of this for me, right now?  My mood is so improved!  I don't remember that from the last time.  Or, maybe I attributed it to the weight loss instead of the nutritional aspect.  It's interesting, I have been prone to scoffing at all the fad diets like Paleo, Caveman/Primal because I could eat sugars and gluten and not notice any changes in how I felt.  Now I know why, because that is how I have been used to feeling, that was my normal.  It feels better to feel lighter on my feet, less stuffed and stuffed-in.  So I am hoping that realizing this will help me stay in control.  My ideal is to be able to eat whatever I want, but to choose this healthier food most of the time, and the times I do have something less healthy I can try savor a little bit of it as a treat, not try to use food as a way to avoid certain emotions or feelings.  That's the goal.  And I think that is kinda what Geneen Roth is talking about.  I have been able to talk myself out of eating when I'm not hungry on a few occasions this week, by asking myself if I was truly hungry or if something else was going on.  Honesty, due to my "monthly disaster" about to begin, there were times that I honestly wasn't certain, then I followed the 'when in doubt, don't' rule, and ate again when I was sure it was hunger.  It holds me accountable and makes me live in the moment, aware of what is driving me to eat.  That's where reading Geneen Roth and meditating have helped me tremendously, even though dieting goes against Geneen's philosophy.  In combination, I think these techniques all compliment each other really well.  
Another thing I like about this phase of the diet is that, because I'm truly hungry when I eat, and because I am so restricted, everything feels like a treat.  One night I had a ginger rootbeer Zevia soda (stevia sweetened) and usually I don't like that flavor, but because the rest of my food for the day was veggies or soy protein or low fat dairy, that soda felt like a dessert!  
That isn't to say that I'm not looking forward to adding carbs back in, especially rice and apples, but I know I'm in control, and I know that keeping this balance will help to keep me feeling better, especially my gut and my mood.  I'm not as easily overwhelmed and stressed out as I was on autopilot.  
It is interesting that this whole thing began as a meditation experiment for school, and is blossoming into a whole different journey.  Sometimes the universe speaks in whispers, we just have to turn into the wind in order to hear it.  
Happy Friday friends!  Hope you have an amazing weekend!


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