This morning I was extra zombified as I climbed out bed. My room, warm and tropical thanks to the humidifier I run all night long. As I brought the dog outside to the frost-kissed conservancy the grass sparkled like diamonds in the morning moonglow. It was magical, and suddenly I was awake. These small, delicate, remarkable moments are so filled with wonderment and joy that it's like someone gave me a gift. I'm happy I was awake enough to notice. Sometimes you have to feel something is magical before your mind believes it.
The sleep, she evades me, a little bit this week. Once because I had the sensation that something was crawling on me at 3:30 am, and other times because I have a nasty sinus infection that has filled up my cheek and is sitting on a nerve making my teeth on the entire right side feel like they are open nerves. I get really tired of sinus stuff!
Alas! After two weeks of suffering and trying everything I could think of over-the-counter and home remedy, I resigned myself to it and headed to the walk-in clinic. The sweet young lady who helped me made it sound like I didn't have a sinus infection, that I should have a runny nose or a cough. I explained that I get this cheek-syle of lovliness at least twice a year and antibiotics are always needed in order to resolve it. She sweetly obliged and I was on my way to get some Doxy. I am allergic to penicillin, which annoys anyone who has to see me for sinus infections, but the Doxy works. It has some dangerous side effects like swelling of the brain and permanent loss of vision (!) but I have been in so much pain I was wondering if I had an absess tooth so...
The good news from my visit is that my weight dropped under 190 (187 to be exact) and my blood pressure was lower than it's been in a while! That made me feel good. I started this nutty change of lifestyle at 216 pounds at the end of September and have not exerted or killed myself and the weight is coming off. I could be dramatic and worry about the speed it's coming off, I mean, 19 pounds is not an amazing feat. No one has noticed or said anything. It's not a dramatic difference. I'm not "beach ready" or buff. But still, knowing I can elicit change in my body by just being more aware of why I'm eating, and staying away from sugary sweets, is a big deal. And in the scope of things, 19 pounds is nothing to scoff at. I'm sure my 216-pound self would be ecstatic at the thought of dropping 20.
Now, I am eagerly waiting for warmer temperatures and sunnier days which will put me in the right mindset to be a little more active. In my mind's eye I can see Summer being a time I do some positive work, maybe getting the dog out for walks or just walking myself. But sometimes I have to stop myself from thinking that way, from delaying what needs to be done. Now that the sun is staying out later, I could go for walks after work. It would be a great stress reliever. The only sticky thing during the school year is that I get home around 5:30 and depending on how much homework my kids have, a good chunk of my night can be taken up helping with that. But I can see that for the excuse that it is. Priorities and compromises are a part of life. I may have to give up a little geneology time at the end of the night in order to get a walk in. Right now, it's been so cold out that it doesn't even sound inviting, but I'm sure when the temperatures get in the 40's and 50's I'll start to get in the spirit. It is tough overcoming my dislike of winter. Maybe some year I'll find a better mindset about it, but this wasn't the year.
So that's about all that's new today. I'm hoping these antibiotics kick in quickly so I can start feeling like my teeth are not disintegrating in my head, I'm happy that I am continuing to lose a little weight here and there, and I am looking forward to warmer days ahead. How's your day going?