Jar of Flowers
Today is a day where I feel so out of sync. I forgot to set an alarm so I ended up (thankfully) waking up at 5:15 on my own. My first thought was, darn it, now I can't do yoga. Then I gathered my thoughts and realized I could still sneak it in as long as I kept the rest of my schedule hopping. My dog took longer than usual to go potty (ugh) so that set me back, then I cooked breakfast and finished eating it later than normal, which meant if I still did yoga it would set me behind in getting ready for work. I have a chiropractor appointment after work, and have to get the dog out after that, and might also have to do a quick stop at the grocery store, so I decided to go ahead and do the yoga this morning. We worked on the spine a lot today and it felt good, but I was definitely distracted by time. As I was about to get ready for work, my son came out asking me to help him find something, so that put me even further behind. It made me crabby. Then I had to quickly make a lunch and leave a note for my other son before stopping at the grocery store to refill my water jugs for work, despite already being late. I did finally get to work on time (thank goodness) but the feeling of my schedule being so out of sync and not smooth sure soured my mood. I had a two-bite pumpkin-zucchini-oatmeal cookie someone made at work, and a Diet Coke, fully aware that I was using food to try and improve my mood. I know that I don't need that stuff, and this is maybe different than the "lower brain" thing because there were no cravings, just impulsive decision based on emotions.
As I was walking up the stairs to go get the soda, the back stairwell had a faint scent that made me fill up with memories from my childhood. My mother had a decorative little jar that she kept on the plant stand. There were small plastic flowers inside, once probably heavily fragranced. The jar had a cork lid that sealed in what was left of the scent, and pretty yellow checkered ribbon tied around the neck. I loved that little jar. The smell was that of old scented candles that have lost the majority of their fragrance but still have a hint of flowery smell left behind. Whatever it was, I absolutely loved to smell that. I remember time and again, taking the lid off and planting my nose inside for some deep sniffs in the jar. My mother didn't understand why I liked it so much and would often tell me to stop sniffing it because it was "gross". So the smell in the stairwell at work today really reminded me of the smell of that little deocration and it filled me with such a sudden warmth and reminder of how a scent can put you in an entirely different mindset. In a way, it brought me back to me; to the simpler version of me who didn't worry much about time constraints, or whether anyone in the outside world found value in my existence. It was a magnificent reminder of who I am aside from the employee, the wife, the mother, the doggy mom. I sure wish I could find something that has that smell and keep it with me to remind me of this when I forget.
This morning I got a message from a cousin, one who I have a ton of respect for, and she said such wonderful things to me it filled me with love. We are pipe-dreaming about going to Austria together someday, to visit our family land where my relatives have lived since the 1200's. Dreaming of doing that lifted my spirits much higher. I feel more in sync now. I will go about my day keeping those joyful things in my mind instead of letting a temporarly glitch in schedule throw me off. I know I could have saved the yoga for tonight, but I really enjoy letting my evening be more restful and relaxing.
If anything, today was a great lesson in how much I don't like time feeling out of control, but also, that I can change my mindset and I don't have to let stress dictate how my day is going to go. I feel mentally recharged and ready to take on the rest of my day. The cookie and Diet Coke were delicious and I enjoyed them but I am well aware I didn't need them. So that was a valuable lesson, hopefully I'll keep that in mind next time I find myself in this spot.
As I was walking up the stairs to go get the soda, the back stairwell had a faint scent that made me fill up with memories from my childhood. My mother had a decorative little jar that she kept on the plant stand. There were small plastic flowers inside, once probably heavily fragranced. The jar had a cork lid that sealed in what was left of the scent, and pretty yellow checkered ribbon tied around the neck. I loved that little jar. The smell was that of old scented candles that have lost the majority of their fragrance but still have a hint of flowery smell left behind. Whatever it was, I absolutely loved to smell that. I remember time and again, taking the lid off and planting my nose inside for some deep sniffs in the jar. My mother didn't understand why I liked it so much and would often tell me to stop sniffing it because it was "gross". So the smell in the stairwell at work today really reminded me of the smell of that little deocration and it filled me with such a sudden warmth and reminder of how a scent can put you in an entirely different mindset. In a way, it brought me back to me; to the simpler version of me who didn't worry much about time constraints, or whether anyone in the outside world found value in my existence. It was a magnificent reminder of who I am aside from the employee, the wife, the mother, the doggy mom. I sure wish I could find something that has that smell and keep it with me to remind me of this when I forget.
This morning I got a message from a cousin, one who I have a ton of respect for, and she said such wonderful things to me it filled me with love. We are pipe-dreaming about going to Austria together someday, to visit our family land where my relatives have lived since the 1200's. Dreaming of doing that lifted my spirits much higher. I feel more in sync now. I will go about my day keeping those joyful things in my mind instead of letting a temporarly glitch in schedule throw me off. I know I could have saved the yoga for tonight, but I really enjoy letting my evening be more restful and relaxing.
If anything, today was a great lesson in how much I don't like time feeling out of control, but also, that I can change my mindset and I don't have to let stress dictate how my day is going to go. I feel mentally recharged and ready to take on the rest of my day. The cookie and Diet Coke were delicious and I enjoyed them but I am well aware I didn't need them. So that was a valuable lesson, hopefully I'll keep that in mind next time I find myself in this spot.
Isn’t it crazy how you were having a rough morning in life gave you that sent and some remembrance about this trip you’re planning to boost your spirits
ReplyDeleteMaryFran, it's the subtle little miracles that remind you to not sweat the small stuff!
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