Momentum
To say I'm having difficulty finding my motivation since being sick is an understatement. I am just not 100% yet, but I do think a lot of it is stuff I can overcome if I exert myself even the least. This morning I woke with the worst sinus headache and it's making my whole head feel odd, one ear half-stuffed etc. Life goes on, right?
I purposely didn't set my alarm earlier, last night I was coughing so much, and while I do think this is a sinus issue at this point, my whole chest and throat were sore from it all and I just didn't feel ready to give up sleep.
I do feel the winter blues creeping in and I know I need to start using my Happy Light and surrounding myself with things that make me happy. Just this morning my husband and I were talking about some of our favorite places on our favorite little island that we visit every summer. It felt so good to think about being there and the summer weather. I think I am going to print off some of our favorite photos from our time on the island and post them around my bed so I can look at them often and have a little "mental vacation" whenever I want.
Today is day 2 of my dairy-free diet and due to the sinus issues I can't really tell a difference. I still feel like I have to clear my throat almost constantly, which is so very annoying. If it doesn't clear soon, and if I continue to have this sinus pressure, I may need to get an antibiotic. I usually have to at least once a year for sinus stuff. UGH. It could be worse, it could be stomach virus. Yuck!
I am thinking ahead to starting this challenge next week, and I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand I think it will really inspire me to focus on my health more and stop living on autopilot. On the other hand, I have to exert effort and sacrifice to do it, so my brain is whining in advance about what I'm giving up. Still I do think the positives will outweigh the parts my brain is whining about. I'm lucky to work in a place that promotes these sorts of things. I get points for participating and when I collect enough points it turns into a cash bonus on my paycheck. They also do gift card drawings and free day of paid time off drawings for anyone who completes the challenges. So there's that. It also counts toward my review and raise, we have to participate in some manner in our Wellness program, but that can be as simple as getting a physical or eye exam, etc. Anyway, when I think about my yearly physical exam being in April, I realize that time will go fast, and my doctor really wants me to be able to get off blood pressure medicine, but I know that's going to require some weight loss and much healthier habits that I will have to make a long-term commitment to these lifestyle changes in order to be released from being on blood pressure medicine. I haven't taken my blood pressure in months so I have no idea where it's at. That's not good. I keep telling myself I need to start checking my blood pressure, but I never do. So, room for improvement for sure.
One thing I have been doing lately is establishing boarders. I am speaking my mind when I am incovenienced, and saying no when I feel like it's taboo to do so. I guess it could translate as me being mean, which might seem like a change of character, but really it's more about me taking care of me. I said something to a friend that might have upset her but she took it OK. I also spoke freely to my husband about something that's been bothering me, and it's the kind of thing that I half-regretted as I said it because I'm so accommodating, but he took it OK and we moved past it. I think in the end, it will be a good thing. And I haven't heard a peep from our upstairs neighbor since I confronted her about her 3:30am activity. I was raised to not make waves, to not upset people and to just be out of the way. It turns out, setting myself on fire to keep others warm makes me feel like absolute garbage sometimes. And that message carries through, even when I don't realize it. I make others more important to me than my own self. Not anymore. I'm still going to be nice, maybe setting boarders and meeting more of my own needs will make me an even nicer person; maybe I'll have more warm fuzzies to give once I allow myself that gift, but I am starting to speak my peice for the first time in my life. It feels loving and liberating at the same time. I am lucky to be surrounded by people who care enough about me to accept me despite me not always pleasing them. We all deserve that, don't we? When I think of it now, what kind of person would not want their loved one to feel free to speak their mind and ask for what they need or reject what they don't want?
So that's my journey right now. I think once I add some of the other pieces from the challenge, it will all start to feel pretty harmonious. I hope so, right now I feel more like hibernating than challenging myself. I really hope the movement starts the momentum I need to keep the ball rolling in a positive way.
I purposely didn't set my alarm earlier, last night I was coughing so much, and while I do think this is a sinus issue at this point, my whole chest and throat were sore from it all and I just didn't feel ready to give up sleep.
I do feel the winter blues creeping in and I know I need to start using my Happy Light and surrounding myself with things that make me happy. Just this morning my husband and I were talking about some of our favorite places on our favorite little island that we visit every summer. It felt so good to think about being there and the summer weather. I think I am going to print off some of our favorite photos from our time on the island and post them around my bed so I can look at them often and have a little "mental vacation" whenever I want.
Today is day 2 of my dairy-free diet and due to the sinus issues I can't really tell a difference. I still feel like I have to clear my throat almost constantly, which is so very annoying. If it doesn't clear soon, and if I continue to have this sinus pressure, I may need to get an antibiotic. I usually have to at least once a year for sinus stuff. UGH. It could be worse, it could be stomach virus. Yuck!
I am thinking ahead to starting this challenge next week, and I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand I think it will really inspire me to focus on my health more and stop living on autopilot. On the other hand, I have to exert effort and sacrifice to do it, so my brain is whining in advance about what I'm giving up. Still I do think the positives will outweigh the parts my brain is whining about. I'm lucky to work in a place that promotes these sorts of things. I get points for participating and when I collect enough points it turns into a cash bonus on my paycheck. They also do gift card drawings and free day of paid time off drawings for anyone who completes the challenges. So there's that. It also counts toward my review and raise, we have to participate in some manner in our Wellness program, but that can be as simple as getting a physical or eye exam, etc. Anyway, when I think about my yearly physical exam being in April, I realize that time will go fast, and my doctor really wants me to be able to get off blood pressure medicine, but I know that's going to require some weight loss and much healthier habits that I will have to make a long-term commitment to these lifestyle changes in order to be released from being on blood pressure medicine. I haven't taken my blood pressure in months so I have no idea where it's at. That's not good. I keep telling myself I need to start checking my blood pressure, but I never do. So, room for improvement for sure.
One thing I have been doing lately is establishing boarders. I am speaking my mind when I am incovenienced, and saying no when I feel like it's taboo to do so. I guess it could translate as me being mean, which might seem like a change of character, but really it's more about me taking care of me. I said something to a friend that might have upset her but she took it OK. I also spoke freely to my husband about something that's been bothering me, and it's the kind of thing that I half-regretted as I said it because I'm so accommodating, but he took it OK and we moved past it. I think in the end, it will be a good thing. And I haven't heard a peep from our upstairs neighbor since I confronted her about her 3:30am activity. I was raised to not make waves, to not upset people and to just be out of the way. It turns out, setting myself on fire to keep others warm makes me feel like absolute garbage sometimes. And that message carries through, even when I don't realize it. I make others more important to me than my own self. Not anymore. I'm still going to be nice, maybe setting boarders and meeting more of my own needs will make me an even nicer person; maybe I'll have more warm fuzzies to give once I allow myself that gift, but I am starting to speak my peice for the first time in my life. It feels loving and liberating at the same time. I am lucky to be surrounded by people who care enough about me to accept me despite me not always pleasing them. We all deserve that, don't we? When I think of it now, what kind of person would not want their loved one to feel free to speak their mind and ask for what they need or reject what they don't want?
So that's my journey right now. I think once I add some of the other pieces from the challenge, it will all start to feel pretty harmonious. I hope so, right now I feel more like hibernating than challenging myself. I really hope the movement starts the momentum I need to keep the ball rolling in a positive way.
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