Last night after work, my husband took my kids to the gym with him again. It is a nice treat for me to have the quiet time to get my second workout in. But last night I didn't workout, and I actually ate something sugary. Why did I do that to myself? Up until recently, I have been so smart and determined, not having sugar because I know the blood sugar roller coaster it puts me on. But last night, my resistance was low and there are a few reasons.
I have been under a lot of stress lately. I was expecting some stress to creep up once I started work, but only a little bit of stress is coming from work. The other stuff is the daily hassles we all have, financially, coordinating child care, remembering deadlines and finding out all the intricate details to each new event so as not to get in a bad situation. We had a horrible experience with the daycare my kids were at for the last month, and I am happy they are going out of business because they were doing really crooked things that cost us double the amount we were expecting to pay, making it impossible to pay other bills, etc etc.
At work, my eating schedule is dictated by my customer flow. Since I'm the only one who works there, it is pretty relaxed most of the time, but there are times when I have sales reps and customers lined up for my time, so eating on a set 3 hour interval doesn't happen some of the time. On the really busy days, I find I usually end up so depleted and dehydrated, just because there literally isn't a moment to sneak in back to grab a bite. Yesterday I had a rep that took up some time, and a few orders, and several "special situation" things to make a judgement call on, I spent my entire day taking care of things I couldn't get to on Monday. I was late for two of my meals, and one of them was my dinner after work. So, by the time I got home and my family was out the door, my body was in "indulge" mode. Thank God there wasn't anything too dangerous in the house (candy, cake, ice cream) because I would have had a field day. Instead of waiting for a turkey burger to cook, I decided I would try to be reasonable and have some turkey hot dogs. They are allowed on the South Beach, and I ate them on a 100% whole wheat bun. It was all going smoothly, but then I needed to add some (not SB approved) ketchup. I tried to tell myself that that was my guilty indulgence. it didn't work. If a person can't have a squirt of ketchup from time to time, that's not really living normally, is it? When I finished my four hot dogs (two buns) I still had that horrible, unsatisfied feeling. It was not naughty enough. So I had two pop tarts. The truth is, they did nothing for me. They didn't taste that good. They didn't have as much sugary pleasure as I expected them to, and they didn't give me a sugar high. And the kicker is, it didn't make my stress go away.
The combination of stress + hunger + being alone all led to a low level of inhibition. There are a million times when it rears it's ugly head, through a variety of moods. I usually handle really well, recognizing it's factors, and head it off with a sesible meal. But, I am not going to dwell on it, it was a moment and it passed. I learned from it. This morning I got up and did my cardio and felt good. All that stands between a good day and a bad one, is our own mindset. Yesterday was a good day. Today will be even better.