Joyful Christmas
Ahhhh! I always feel an extra wonderful sense of peace when Christmas is over, just like the silence of a fresh-fallen snow. I did enjoy this Christmas more than others because I set the intention of having a more joyful spirit this year and that really did happen. I participated more and while that had it stressful moments, it was also more fun in the end.
I did end up getting a headcold Dec 23, not my favorite timing, and I was pretty wiped out during our two celebrations, but I tried not to let it be my focus. It did mean that I couldn't hardly taste anything, so I ate a lot less than I normally would have. I did eat a couple christmas cookies (3) despite not being able to really taste them, and I fully realized the absurdity of it, but in the back of my head I heard that old familiar voice protesting, but I'm starting a 'diet' soon and will be giving up these things/behaviors!
I have been having mixed thoughts on the whole thing. Part of me is super excited and I feel like this is finally the time that I just stick to my guns and do it. After all, I can eat whatever I want as long as it's in my calorie budget. And I have spent some time looking at calorie content in the things I typically eat/like and it has put some things into perspective, which makes a calorie budget feel very managable.
The other part of me is worried because it is going to be some work having to track calories all the time. Sure, I'll get into a routine at some point, memorizing some items I eat a lot of, but at first, it will be work tracking everything. I have rebelled against that sort of thing in the past and that's the part that worries me a bit.
I am also thinking ahead to restaurants and how all that will go. I guess I'll find out because I am doing this and I'm going to commit to staying within my calorie budget. I will have to be creative and plan ahead for things. I got this.
I have been thinking a lot about the Brain Over Binge book and the lessons I have taken away from that. I thought about it yesterday as I was eating those cookies I wasn't hungry for and couldn't taste. That wasn't even pleasurable but I'm sure the biochemical processes did stimulate my pleasure centers of my brain. Yesterday I felt so miserable from my cold that any pleasure sensors I may have were stuffed up along with my entire head, which felt like it could possibly explode at any minute. So yes, the pleasure-seeking thing is alway heightened when I am sick and looking to self-soothe. I ended up catching a 15 minute nap and after a couple mugs of hot tea I was feeling much better, but made sure to keep it a low-key night. For the rest of the evening, I was plagued with feelings of wanting to eat when I wasn't hungry, but a quick reminder that I couldn't taste anyway made it easy to resist. When it came time for my nighttime snack I almost had to force myself to eat ( I don't sleep well if I don't eat before bed) even though I should have been hungry by then, but my senses were a little off.
This morning I was supposed to be starting the switch from coffee to a caffeine pill. I finished the last of my sugar-free coffee creamer yesterday and told myself I would stop drinking coffee once it was gone because the amount of creamer I need to make it taste how I like is such a huge chunk of calories that I simply don't think it's worth it. To me, if I have to drink it without creamer (or with less creamer) it is not worth it because I don't enjoy the flavor nearly as much. It just so happens that my husband was gifted with a sampler of 4 different 1 pound bags of coffee for Christamas. So this morning with the coffee all chilled in the fridge, I decided since I can't really taste much, I could add 1 packet of stevia to the cold coffee and drink it that way. I couldn't taste the bitterness (my husband makes it pretty dark) and it perked me up nicely. Maybe someday I can consider getting used to it that way but for now the plan is to switch to just popping a 200mg caffeine pill in the mornings and drinking water all day.
Maybe I'm biting off more than I should with the new year, but I feel really good about making some positive changes. Positivity, especially in how I talk to/about myself, calorie budget, and virtually getting rid of the coffee; my teeth will be happier for the last one.
I can't count how many New Years have started with me secretly or not so secretly wanting to lose weight. This time feels very different. My plan is not so much to just eat salads and wing it, but a solid plan with boundaries, but one that includes being able to eat all the things I really like. This will teach me to control my portion sizes for the rest of my life. I always wondered how people really physically knew when they were satisfied with a meal, I don't seem to have those same signals and stopping eating when I wasn't mentally satisfied (which is different than being physically satisfied) seemed so uncomfortable for me. I think with smaller portions and seeing how the foods affect my calorie count, it will be easier to realize that I don't need 2-3 times as much of a portion, like I typically eat when I am on autopilot.
So all those words to basically say, I am happy Christmas passed by on a very joyful note, I felt much more joy this year, and I am commiting to starting a fresh new path on Jan 1st.
I did end up getting a headcold Dec 23, not my favorite timing, and I was pretty wiped out during our two celebrations, but I tried not to let it be my focus. It did mean that I couldn't hardly taste anything, so I ate a lot less than I normally would have. I did eat a couple christmas cookies (3) despite not being able to really taste them, and I fully realized the absurdity of it, but in the back of my head I heard that old familiar voice protesting, but I'm starting a 'diet' soon and will be giving up these things/behaviors!
I have been having mixed thoughts on the whole thing. Part of me is super excited and I feel like this is finally the time that I just stick to my guns and do it. After all, I can eat whatever I want as long as it's in my calorie budget. And I have spent some time looking at calorie content in the things I typically eat/like and it has put some things into perspective, which makes a calorie budget feel very managable.
The other part of me is worried because it is going to be some work having to track calories all the time. Sure, I'll get into a routine at some point, memorizing some items I eat a lot of, but at first, it will be work tracking everything. I have rebelled against that sort of thing in the past and that's the part that worries me a bit.
I am also thinking ahead to restaurants and how all that will go. I guess I'll find out because I am doing this and I'm going to commit to staying within my calorie budget. I will have to be creative and plan ahead for things. I got this.
I have been thinking a lot about the Brain Over Binge book and the lessons I have taken away from that. I thought about it yesterday as I was eating those cookies I wasn't hungry for and couldn't taste. That wasn't even pleasurable but I'm sure the biochemical processes did stimulate my pleasure centers of my brain. Yesterday I felt so miserable from my cold that any pleasure sensors I may have were stuffed up along with my entire head, which felt like it could possibly explode at any minute. So yes, the pleasure-seeking thing is alway heightened when I am sick and looking to self-soothe. I ended up catching a 15 minute nap and after a couple mugs of hot tea I was feeling much better, but made sure to keep it a low-key night. For the rest of the evening, I was plagued with feelings of wanting to eat when I wasn't hungry, but a quick reminder that I couldn't taste anyway made it easy to resist. When it came time for my nighttime snack I almost had to force myself to eat ( I don't sleep well if I don't eat before bed) even though I should have been hungry by then, but my senses were a little off.
This morning I was supposed to be starting the switch from coffee to a caffeine pill. I finished the last of my sugar-free coffee creamer yesterday and told myself I would stop drinking coffee once it was gone because the amount of creamer I need to make it taste how I like is such a huge chunk of calories that I simply don't think it's worth it. To me, if I have to drink it without creamer (or with less creamer) it is not worth it because I don't enjoy the flavor nearly as much. It just so happens that my husband was gifted with a sampler of 4 different 1 pound bags of coffee for Christamas. So this morning with the coffee all chilled in the fridge, I decided since I can't really taste much, I could add 1 packet of stevia to the cold coffee and drink it that way. I couldn't taste the bitterness (my husband makes it pretty dark) and it perked me up nicely. Maybe someday I can consider getting used to it that way but for now the plan is to switch to just popping a 200mg caffeine pill in the mornings and drinking water all day.
Maybe I'm biting off more than I should with the new year, but I feel really good about making some positive changes. Positivity, especially in how I talk to/about myself, calorie budget, and virtually getting rid of the coffee; my teeth will be happier for the last one.
I can't count how many New Years have started with me secretly or not so secretly wanting to lose weight. This time feels very different. My plan is not so much to just eat salads and wing it, but a solid plan with boundaries, but one that includes being able to eat all the things I really like. This will teach me to control my portion sizes for the rest of my life. I always wondered how people really physically knew when they were satisfied with a meal, I don't seem to have those same signals and stopping eating when I wasn't mentally satisfied (which is different than being physically satisfied) seemed so uncomfortable for me. I think with smaller portions and seeing how the foods affect my calorie count, it will be easier to realize that I don't need 2-3 times as much of a portion, like I typically eat when I am on autopilot.
So all those words to basically say, I am happy Christmas passed by on a very joyful note, I felt much more joy this year, and I am commiting to starting a fresh new path on Jan 1st.
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