Same Old

I am still here.  Work has been insanely busy, and my coworker got fired, so blog time is rare these days.  I am still having a lot of issues with exhaustion and weakness, which makes it hard to convince myself that I should get out of bed and do something.  I have been going a little easier on myself lately because of how I felt last time I worked out when I was exhausted.  That was a bit of a disaster.  This weakness to me, is very similar to the feeling my muscles get after brutalizing them in the gym, weak/shakey/exhausted, except that is how I feel all the time. 

Last night my son and I walked a 5K, and several times while we were walking, I was amazed at the fact that I used to be able to run that entire distance, and now it felt like torture just walking it.  My weak hip was annoying the crap out of me, and I just felt like I wanted to collapse from complete lack of energy, but I tried to put on a brave face for my son.  He had already walked 4 miles earlier in the day, and he was a trooper the whole way, until the last half-mile when his feet hurt.  It was fun to have him along, we even ran a teeny tiny bit, for me it was more like shuffling, praying that I would not re-injure my knee.   And I was certain I would sleep good after that, but I didn't.  Woe is me.  I pushed myself to go for that walk because my work requires us to show up at at least one event they put on, and my son was looking forward to it.  But my heart and energy were definitely not behind it.  

This morning, still in the grips of a melatonin hangover, when the alarm went off at 4:30am, I simply could not do it.  I fell asleep holding my phone (which I use as my alarm).  But I woke again 6 minutes later and decided I should go do something.  I'll never regain my strength lying in bed.  So I went to the gym and trained shoulders and did a few hip strengthening things as well.  I am not going to say that it was easy or that I felt great afterword, but I did something.

My husband may be having to switch to an earlier shift at work, which would have him leaving the house at 5:30 am, and my gym doesn't open until 5am, so I have had to start thinking about an alternative plan.  I may be able to work out at night, assuming when school starts that my husband will help the kids with homework.  Or I could join a gym that opens earlier.  The though of getting up even earlier is not welcoming.   I thought about getting a video I can do at home, like the Jillian Michaels one every one is so fond of.  And then today, after feeling not great after another weight session, I thought about the option of just doing cardio for awhile until I feel better.  These are things I need to figure out whether his shift changes or not.  And if I don't start feeling better soon, I may request more blood work.  Sigh.  I am so sick of dr appointments. 

Such is my sad tale today.