Traumatized by Dental Work

Wednesday was a day that proved to me, if I can hold myself together after being shouted and berated at by a customer in front of a bunch of people, I might be able to get through this whole thing with my head intact.  I was very aware of my desire to comfort eat or consume alcohol leaving work, after a very mentally and even emotionally challenging shift.  I had missed my afternoon snack because I was doing so much trouble-shooting and putting out fires and talking people off ledges (I like to dramatize but sheesh!  It was a rough day), leaving work I was definitely hangry and thinking about comfort eating.  I looked in my fridge and cupboard to see if there was anything that was tempting enough to make me want to waste the good stuff I had done so far this week and determined that letting some angry person make me miserable was not worth throwing in the towel.  I ate my planned meal and felt satisfied.  Then I had a bowl of popcorn.  Well, it was a mostly-successful day.  The popcorn sucked, not much flavor and a ton of hulls.  Not worth it, but it is what it is at this point. 
Yesterday was a horrific, traumatic expeirience at the periodontist.  So much so, that if I am ever told I need crown lengthening again, I may decide to have the tooth pulled instead.  I needed it because one of my old fillings fell out and the tooth underneath broke a little piece off.  Crown lengthening is a procedure where a tooth is not big enough to fit a crown on it so they have to remove gum and bone in the area so more tooth is exposed, therefore making a crown fit.  The lady who did mine is, I'm guessing, in her mid 60's.  That gave me confidence because I imagine she's been doing this a long time and must be a pro.  I have never had someone more scattered, unable to hide stress, yanking so hard at my gum tissue that she had to hold my head down, waving tools with blood on them above me as she talked to her assistant, pressing down with so much pressure that my jaw began to quiver uncontrollably, remarking about how little anesthetic she used compared to normal,  having to try sutures over and over about 15 times (including pushing the needle through an area that she did not anesthesize, yes it went all the way through) and shaking her head in displeasure about how it was going as she tried and tried to get my gums to suture down away from the tooth.  She finally got so frustrated that the gum tissue wasn't doing what she wanted it to do that she just said, "It is what it is, there's nothing more I can do without opening you back up."  I was horrified.  I left there with blood on my face and in my hair, and some spatters on my glasses.  The amount of pressure she used in short, hacking manners, absolutely left me speachless!  Yes I am in pain, my whole side of my face and jaw are swollen.  I was worried about this visit for a long time and it was even worse than I imagined! 
Since I have stitches in my gums, I have very strict orders and one of them is soft food only for at least 1 week.  At that point I will have my stitches removed and they will let me know if I can go back on regular food.  It could potentially be 2 weeks on soft food.  Guess who's not a huge fan of soup?  And there's only so much greek yogurt and cottage cheese I can take.  So yesterday after the procedure I went and got some soft stuff, mac and cheese cups, peanut butter for bread, pasta, and yes tons and tons of yogurt.  Part of me just resigned myself to knowing I cannot stomach just yogurt and cottage cheese for 2 weeks, but a bigger part of me was looking for comfort after that experience, and I am going to take it while I have to be on soft food, though I am still strong in mind to get back to it soon.  I may even end up eating more yogurt and cottage cheese or adding in some protein shakes or something after a few days. 
I am also not to exercise for a week.  That's no problem.  I'm not addicted to it!  Last night I needed to take a pain pill and I noticed this morning that my lower body feels much better too.  Maybe it released that tight muscle issue I've been having. 
This little stretch of my journey is just another bump in the road.  I will get past it.  I am allowing myself to be a little unfocused for a little bit, though I don't plan to go completely off the rails.  By the time this tooth is all take care of I will have had 9 separate appointments for it.  Yes, I am paying loads of money out of pocket because my insurance was maxed out by the third visit.  I just want to put this nightmare to bed.  I want to stop thinking about my mouth/teeth and just be in maintenance mode so I can focus on other stuff! 
So this is not an inspirational blog but I'm not giving up.  This is temporary.  I will get past this and keep on moving forward.  Until then, I will rest and restore my Superpowers.   


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