When the Universe Tells you to Step Up

Life is funny, it seems like so much happens in such a short time and I sometimes feel like my moods and emotions flip dozens of times each day.  I care about my health and I want to dedicate myself to feeling better, then I don't want to create mental issues by restricting so I aim at appreciation and joy instead, which means I eat whatever and feel the effects of that, often in less-than-fantastic ways.
I have been going through these same cycles for what feels like forever and I keep wondering why, when I'm on a good track, do I quit.  Honestly, it takes so much more effort and mental energy to get back on track when I was on a roll than it does to get going in the first place.  Why is that?  It's one of my challenges to figure out and overcome I guess.
Some of the things I have been crunching in my mind lately revolve around "New Girl".  Yes, my company finally got the hint that constantly over-working it's people was leading to distress and employees wanting to leave.  So we have NG (new girl).  She's part time but it helps!  She is 6 years younger than me ( which means she's in her late 30's) and she is very much the opposite of me, blond (though not totally naturally so) very very concerned with her looks to the point she has her real eyebrows shaved off and new ones penciled on, makeup to the hilt, constantly fusses with her hair, and always looks like she's dressed for the bar scene, showing too much skin for a health clinic.  She fears aging because she doesn't want her precious face to wrinkle and sag, and doesn't care of the risks involved with plastic surgery, she is already planning on being addicted to it.  Ok, I could make my whole post about it but it's all been said before.  Being around her made me react by reaffirming how not into all that I am.  She's talking about doing a cleanse and I am eating a cheese pizza hit pocket.  She is a nice person and i get it that being recently divorced with 3 kids must be so hard.  I am so grateful i don't have to deal with all that!  She'll find what makes her happy eventually and it probably won't be at the bottom of her makeup bag.  As for me, I think the reason I reacted so strongly to her is because I already know that all that focus on the outside means that not much attention is being directed on the stuff that really matters.
Aside from NG, and in some ways because of her, I am being shown again and again that things I once thought I wanted are things that would not have made me happy.  So many things are surfacing lately to show me this.  It is showing up in my meditation and tarot in news stories and even in my daily dealings with people at work.  Each situation is a different reminder of how lucky I am that things turned out the way they did.  I'm reminded of the Buddhist lesson to see something as it really is instead of attaching myself emotionally to it.  It's a lifelong lesson, but it's slowly reinforcing itself for me.
Yesterday I went to my spiritualist church and to decipher the images I was shown during meditation I used tarot cards.  The first thing I translated meant to not blindly trust anything I see or hear, the second was that I may be tricked or deceived by a trickster that may stand in my way of deciding which way to go when I've come to a fork in the road.  This card told me to make up my own mind then commit.  I took that to mean my fency, indecisive ideas about my weight and health.  Indecision is indeed a trickster that keeps us stuck.
This morning I decided I am going to commit to my lower carb diet I have planned this week and I even spent 15 minutes on the stationary bike.  It made me feel more awake and eating my clean breakfast felt natural after.  I watched a little Good Morning America and when I saw a segment on strengthening all 3 muscles of the glutes, something I am struggling with right now, it actually inspired me.  The celebrity trainer also recommended getting 14,000 steps a day if the goal is weight loss.  That doesn't sound super realistic to me, but I might try to at least exceed 10,000 per day.  I'm not sure yet.  I get close to 10,000 or over when I work, but not even close on my off days.  Maybe it's time to put a little more focus on my pedometer.
Other recent tarot messages have mentioned that things are aligned correctly for a start of something I have been wanting to work on.  I feel like the universe is telling me to stop hemming and hawing and just get going.  Here is me starting down the path again.  I am motivated yet calm.  I know that I can start over and over and over if needed, as long as I keep trying.  Maybe this time I figure out a way to not need to be in the position of having to find the focus and motivation to restart after a sudden stop. Here's hoping!


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