Just Checking In

Well, last night was proof that the best laid plans often go astray!  My problem is I love to plan things.  I am not naturally very organized but it makes me feel good to put things into neatly organized areas when I feel like I have stuff that needs to get done. So I made myself a nice little schedule for my evening free time.  When I made the schedule I was surprised how much time it seemed like I had free.  In reality, it didn't pan out that way and I had to remind myself to let go of the feeling that things have to happen in a certain way or at a certain time.  It wasn't easy to let go of those feelings. 
My dog was begging me to play with him at 7pm, the exact time I had myself "scheduled" to meditate.  We played for almost a half hour before he was tired and I decided to try and meditate after that.  I ended up in the strange spanse between awake and sleeping, and odd images rushed up on my mind's 'screen' and I jolted myself back to the logical world feeling a little odd, but definitely more relaxed.  I did spend some time on my phone, that was built into my schedule, but I guess my original goal was to use it less.  I did end up falling asleep with my phone in my hand and finally got myself to bed around 9:45pm.  I had wanted the be in bed at 9:30 but I had been dozing off before that and had my bedtime prep to do (teeth and dog potty break).  I gave my appreciation and said my desires before drifting off into a deep sleep. 
This morning's yoga was 45 minutes but it wasn't grueling so I did OK.  That is the maximum time I can do in the morning because right after yoga is morning crunch time, getting the dog, my sons and myself ready for the day.  I do appreciate the shorter sessions, even if they are more intense, because it affords me a few extra minutes to give the dog snuggles which is very therapeutic for me. 
Part of me is starting to get a little disillusioned with the yoga, at least with Adriene.  I am fully aware that I am a total novice at this, but it seems like she is going easy on us too often.  I know I can always modify to make things tougher, and maybe there's really good reason she's not pushing during certain times, but I do hear myself judging her/the classes in my head.  This morning I actually forced myself to be aware of the negative thought in my head (as she was saying not to bend all the way but to go easy in a certain move) and I laughed at the irony that I am complaining (in my head) about a free yoga series that is helping me move with more freedom and less pain.  That being said, I do think I will explore other instructors for a bit, maybe once I'm done with the current 30-day series. 
Yoga is becoming more of a habit for me.  I am looking forward to the time when it is just a part of my morning and not something I think about too much, but something I just do out of habit and feel odd when I don't do it.  I don't think I have honestly ever had a positive habit that was physical in my life so I'm hoping that it sticks.
I will try to stick to the things on my schedule tonight, without putting too much emphasis on the 'when' piece of it.  I just want to meditate on a regular basis and work on appreciation and stress-release. 
Not much else to report today, just sticking to the program I guess.  Nothing wrong with that!

Comments

  1. Once we got rid of cable it freed up so much time! i didn't realize how much time I spent mindlessly changing channels - I wasn't even really "watching a show! I like Rodney Yee - I had a dvd of his that is 5 relatively short but good Am sessions - I picked it up at W-M or amazon for around $10. Maybe see if your library has any that you could try as well if you don't see any more via streaming that look good.

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    1. Thanks for the tip! I will have to check it out.

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